a life of miserable and emolistic

2010-02-07T18:36:00.002+08:00

today will be mine 120th post and also my last post as of this year... in future whether will post a not will be in doubt... maybe is i grew lazy to post le... furthermore next sem will be really busy... cus heard that year 3 sem 1 we will be having 5 proj... lol... this is going to kill me liao... haha... but still ok la as long as the ppl in my group are not slacker jiu hao...haha...

as there will be a lot of proj when year 3 start ma... pey horng and i think that it's time we find new members... haha... cus we taking IAP also ma... so if our member for other 4 proj slack de... then we die liao... for now all settle liao... haha... they may not be the best but at least they not slack de... tat matters... haha....

jus took back my CA2 results... conclusion is very happy wif the result except for facc... didn't really meet my expectation ba... but nonetheless... A jiu hao le... haha... 80 plus or 90 plus not important... exam is coming in ard 2-3 weeks time... siao liao lor... need to drink a lot of chicken essence liao... haha...

someone really too much le... pey horng and i think so la... jus like wat sam say ma... if u wan ppl to respect u, u must first respect the person... ya lor... think this particular person dun really understand this...only noe how to make use of ppl to attain his goal. if someone is going to ask me.. do i still treat him as a friend?.. i am gonna say... 1 month ago yes... now NO... hahah...lol...

ok... now to a very special person to me... dun really noe how to say... haha... but now only dare to say here lor... haha... actually all along i have feelings for u... but when i heard u have bf le at tat time... was a bit disappointed... but now u and tat person break up le... dunno... jus make me happy agn ba... haha... dun really noe whether u will accept me but i will not give up so easily this time... no matter wat...

now for the last joke.. random...

qns: which singer know how to repair the air-con?
ans: Akon

qns: riding on something as if it is riding a horse.. guess an item
ans: spectacles

Going To Iraq

A soldier ran up to a nun, out of breath, he asked, "Please may I hide under your skirt? I'll explain later". The nun agreed.

A moment later two military police ran up and asked, "Sister have you seen a soldier?"
The nun replied, ???He went that way. "

After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under the skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq. "

The nun said she understood completely.

The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs."

The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls.... I don't want to go to Iraq either"

2010-01-12T20:10:00.002+08:00

so long nvr blog le... lol...sch starts second weeks le but still ok de la... now damn sian cus got the RWPS...lol... like we also dun wan to do analyst next time... lol.... think next time i be doing ACCA instead of uni... haha... first reason is cus cannot get in...hahaha... second is cus faster ma... but provided i mus be clever enough to pass within 2 years...lol... haha....

haha... project red sea is still under planning... blur rite... dunno wat lai de rite....hahha... is some revenge plan la...haha... lol... now like free time start to watch those show that shown in 2008 or 2007 de... also nice la..cus all are from TVB de ma... but jus last time i not such a great fan of hong kong drama....

so scared someone angry lor... cus i actually say yesterday blog de... haha... i forgot... lol... so until now then blog... haha... dun angry hor... hahah....

now for the jokes...Police Emergency...

This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said no, but explained the situation. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all."

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

2010-01-05T00:04:00.002+08:00

haha... post agn... sch starts le... damn sian lor... now i still like in holiday mood lor... haha... dunno how wor... die die... today actually getting back audit exam de... but tat lecturer say dunno adjust wat la...so wed then can get... lol... but she say all pass... so at least i nvr fail... so counted one small good news lor...

tml going take back tax.... although the lecturer say we do relatively alright but i still worried lor... in tat exam i did one mistake...so i scare tat mistake will cost me an A lor.. haiz... damn sian... but hope my result will be good... this week so critical... LOL...

to me like this 2010 like got good and bad lor... i dunno la... maybe in time to come... the bad will become good...lol... today like quite sad and sian... cus i dunno for wat reason... someone like treating me so cold like tat... haiz....

now joke time...Crawling Drunk...

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.

"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.

He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.

"Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home."

The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.

"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.

"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?"

"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."

2009-12-26T01:17:00.002+08:00

haha... merry christmas to all.... haha... back from chalet le... but yesterday too busy to blog le... christmas eve ma... hhaa....overall chalet was fun... cus is like really different from last time... in the past when we have chalet... we are like bbq... play mahjong... lol.. haha... boring rite... but now different... ahha... starting we like have a gambling den like that...HAHAHA... hope if there is any police who read my blog... dun catch me hor.... HAHAHA... jus kidding...

when ard 1.30am... we exchange presents then we turn our chalet into a club... dim down the lights... then play all sorts of techno music... and we dance inside... haha....think inside there only i noe how to drink red wine... cus all like drink le all say not nice... very bitter... lol... then i like drink one quarter of it... haha... then they open volka... then cb and eileen keep pass to me their portion... haha... but aft drinking so much... i nvr got drunk...hahah....

yesterday went out wif shaun they all to somehow celebrate christmas... we went to mt.faber... wow... although the hill wasn't high... but at the peak, the view is super nice... haha... and super windy...lol...after we have our late supper at 85market... and we went home... haha....was quite alright yesterday....

tml will be going into malaysia.... have to meet yvonne at 9am at kranji MRT station... lol... so early lor... haha... but ok de la... will be coming back at sunday... so maybe will blog when i'm back...

now is jokes time....Christmas Gift For Mom..

The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a Emily, young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap. Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas?'

'Something for my mother, please,' replied Emily sweetly.

'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?'

Without turning a hair Emily answered quickly, 'A son-in-law.'

ps: better dun let her mum noe this... hehe.. .

2009-12-20T22:58:00.002+08:00

yea...blog agn... holiday have passed for a week... and what i've been doing everyday is watch hong kong drama... really nice de lor... i watched from 古靈精探 to 古靈精探B then ID精英 and now i'm watching 學警狙擊... all are very nice de show... recommend u all go watch... hahah... think have to find more TVB shows to watch... still got 2 weeks of holiday wor... haha...

this few days all have the feeling like a big stone lift away le... lol... cus like i finally say out sth that i wanted to say but jus dun dare... although is like via an indirect way la... but think is pretty obvious le... jus like someone say... if say until like this she also dunno then really dunno wat to say le... so i think is pretty obvious le ba... haha... although i noe is pretty impossible for it to succeed, but i think even if u have a small possibility, it's still worth trying... blame can only blame me ba... who call me so stupid... go one big round le then find the key to the ans. and is like a little bit late le.... haiz......

going to chalet on tuesday... hope will be fun... will post agn on wednesday when i'm back...

2009-12-11T22:05:00.002+08:00

it's been a long time since i blog... haha... cus exam ma.... no time to really blog... this exam slogan is do or die... haha.... cannot afford to score badly in this exam.... really hope this MST will score well ba.... but funniest things is out of the 5 module... i have the most confidence on auditing... lol... a theory module which i normally will die de... haha... now relax first ba... haha...

today after the last paper.. went wif my friends to suntec to dine at Astons... haha... and i bought my mayday latest concert album... haha... damn happy lor... haha.... and today is also officially bully henry day... haha... jia ying, jia yi and kerrin always bully me de... HAHAHA..... dunno y... today at suntec gan jue weird weird de... haha... i myself also can't explain y i got this feeling.... haiz....

now for the long waited joke...Baseball In Heaven...

There are these two guys named John and Cliff. They were best friends and were so obsessed with baseball that they would go to 60 games a year and analyze every scoreboard. They even promised each other that when one of them goes to heaven, the deceased one would come back and tell the other whether there was baseball in heaven or not.

One night Cliff dies in his sleep after watching a Chicago White Sox game -- Chicago won, so at least he died a happy man. The next day Cliff returns to earth to see his friend.

"Hi, John."

"Cliff, is it really you?"

"Hey, I told you I'd be back to tell you what's up. And, you know John, there's good news and bad news."

"Okay. What's the good news?"

"There is baseball in heaven."

"The bad news?"

"You're pitching tomorrow night."

2009-11-20T23:22:00.002+08:00

haha.... blog agn... like so frequent le me... haha.... this few days i really dunno wat happen to me lor.... i realise something... sometimes when we always tell ourselves impossible de la or cannot be de la.... and it will always become the other way round.... lol... dun understand rite.... haha... lol... i also dun understand myself... lol...

i have a qns that have been like revolving ard my mind this few weeks... like if u ask me this particular qns abt 2-3 months ago... i will say totally impossible... but now if u ask me agn... haha... my ans will change to it's possible... lol...

this few days like will keep on think of her... haiz.... everytime outside wif her will also like make me happy.... haha... lol... but u noe since the two incident that happen to me before... i really like have a loss in confidence in myself ba... how sld i say... maybe i really scared of being backfire agn le after HL incident... i dunno la... jus hope my intuition is really correct de this time...

rather short post wif no joke....

2009-11-18T20:13:00.002+08:00

hehe... today went to school damn early jus to sign up for tat IAP de elective... haha... like finally register le... like a huge rock taken off... haha..... lol... the ITP de thingy also done le... today submit the finished forms to miss han le... haha... damn happy.... but like MST is coming le... think 3 weeks ba....

after school went out wif her to orchard to catch a movie... haha... 2012 i can only say... is a mus watch... but the only bad part for tat movie is too long le... lol... 2 and a half hour wor.... haha.... today was like so happy going out wif her.. hehe... hope will have more ba...haha....

this week have to chiong 2 things.. one is CF proj and another is Rwps proj... lol.... but also hard lor.... lucky for our CF proj we managed to find a lot of good information... haha....

now the joke...Free Riders....

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all!) When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip.

To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "ticket, please."

2009-11-16T21:24:00.003+08:00

yea... damn long since i last blog... cus i really can't think of anything to blog... haha... Audit CA jus over but jus as i thot the paper will be easy... it turn out the other way round... lol... y is our batch de paper always so difficult de... or sld i say more difficult than compare to previous year... lol....

sunday finally have a down to earth confirm de IAP group... haha... cus previously jh was still thinking whether to take which elective...but he still choose IB though... haha... but we managed to find a new replacement... lol... like finally le....

today going to settle the ITP thingy wif pey horng... cus we found our own ITP thru lecturer... haha.... pay was relatively higher than other... then we believe we can learn even more than other internship companies... cus we work there before in that accounting firm... but dunno la.. everything have to wait till tml when they stamp tat company stamp there...haha....

today went back home wif someone... haa... but when i heard she going JB for 6 days in Dec... haha... dunnno y suddenly feel a bit like sad... haha.... dunno la... haha...

now for the jokes....VIP....

While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the pope's authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back.

They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph, when a policeman happened to see them. As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it.

The chief asked: "Who is in the limo, the mayor?" The policeman told him: "No, someone more important than the mayor."

Then the chief asked "Is it the governor?" The policeman answered: "No, someone more important than the governor."

The chief finally asked: "Is it the President?" The policeman answered: "No, someone even more important than the President."

This made the chief very angry and he bellowed: "Now who is more important than the President?!"
The policeman calmly wispered: "I'll put it to you this way chief. I don't know who is this guy, but he has the pope as his chauffeur."

2009-11-01T18:03:00.002+08:00

haha... yesterday was like halloween day so went out to club wif friends... lol... wa.... was like damn tired lor yesterday lor... one day went three places... first go to rebel... the best among all ba... haha.... but the only problem is too squeezy.... like my hand kenna so many butt... male and female also have... lol... kua zhang rite... lol.... so girls even worse... lol... when trying to squeeze thru... they facing me lor.. and then their.... ya u noe.... bua thru my hand sia... like wat the helllllllllllllll....

after that went to lunar... cannot say there bad la.... but jus a bit weird... cus they have a live band in there... but problem is... they sing cantonese songs....LOL.... weird rite.... i and my friends was like looking at each other saying like wat song lai de.... lol... but their host or wat... quite interactive la... will like give free drink of alcohol... but that is pure alcohol lor for god sake... like drink le whole body was hot like hell... and is only one mouth is enough to have that effect...

lastly went over to zirca... when reach there already like damn tired le... so only like sit somewhere... haha... to make things worse... my back ache agn... lol... haiz.... overall is not bad la these 3.... cus nvr went these 3 clubs before... but the queueing is killing lor.... like we queue for like almost 1 hr lor....before we can go in....

haha... this is wat i mean by long long go one time can le... cus u will not feel bored of clubing... lol... cus going too frequently will make u feel bored in the end... lol...

ok going off to do my tutorial... now for jokes...cabbies...

A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.

The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the young daughter asks her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?"

The mother replies, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come by and pick them up on the way home from work."

The cabby, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, "Ah, C'mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth! For crying out loud...They're hookers!"

A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, "Mommy, do the hooker ladies have any children?"

The mother replies, "Of course, Dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?"

2009-10-28T17:19:00.002+08:00

yo... blog agn... haha.... this few days was feeling real happy ba.... haha....have not been in this state for like almost 1 year....lol... haha... monday went wif my clique to defu lane there... cus is the birthday of one of the chinese god... so i went there to watch the celebration... lol... damn kua zhang lor.... like i thot that religion will be like not many ppl believe de.... but shock me lor... damn lots of ppl lor.... think got 500 ba... haha.... or even more.... lol... jus damn crowded.... can't even walk thru de lor.... haha.....hope to go agn next year too... haha....

haha.... this few days.... night time lucky got someone lor... haha... otherwise i will bored like hell.... haha.... ya lor.... this is wat i mean by maybe u found the correct person to talk lor.... lol...

And yesterday hor... knew some things from someone... haha... but cannot say who la.... but quite stunning also.... lol.... hope to talk to u more on the phone... haha.... lol... since u are a fruit.... lol... haha.... no link i noe.... lol... and looking forward to thursday....HAHAHA.....

wa.... this few days hor... i also like addicted to a thing that most female beings are doing... lol... blogshop.... lol... siao liao... haha...

no joke this time... since someone say too long... haha... my jokes....lol...

2009-10-23T17:39:00.005+08:00

yup....blog agn le... haha.... after the first week of school.... wat i can say is... this sem is quite challenging.... up till now is till ok for me la... but whether the remaining chapters i can a not.... haha.... a big big question mark... haha.... btw... thanks for everyone who wish me happy birthday on monday... really thanks... especially ressal lor... hai my face become chocolate.... lol...haha....

NARFA is like in 7 months time.... so begin to start training le... to build up the stamina that are lose this 2 years... haha.... no choice la... cus poly no such thing as PE lesson like those in primary and secondary school...

regarding my last post on that friend that i wish to cut off ties.... i think le think.... to really make the plan successful and not like say say only, i decide to proportionally cut off ties wif ppl who are close to her... haha.... u all may ask for wat rite.... but since they are close to her ma... so if close to them...in the end still will c her...lol... but to them i not completely cut off ma....maybe jus to keep a distance only....

and today something funny happy... cus we went out to celebrate jamie's birthday... then aft that i and hui jun went to orchard.... haha.... i tell her not to sms while walking.... cus she not like other.... when she sms while walking... she is unable to c infront...haha.... i say skali u bang into sth... and sure enough... she bang into a wall... hhaha.... and the sound damn loud also....HAHAHAHAHA.....

ok...now joke for the day....Working Construction...

A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw so he sees another man on the 1st floor. He yells down to him, but he can't hear, so he does sign language. He points at his eye meaning "I", points at his knee meaning "need", and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion.

The man on the 1st floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts masturbating.

The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and says, "What the hell is wrong with you dumbass? I said I need handsaw!!

" The other guy says, "I knew that, I was just trying to tell you I'm coming."

2009-10-11T21:41:00.002+08:00

haha...so long didn't blog... lol... cus kinda lazy le...haha... last time when i first created the blog.... was like almost everyday blog wor... haha.... also dunno y i am so hardworking last time... haha.... this few weeks have been putting a personal message on my msn... that many ppl been asking... wat decision sia.... lol... haha... kinda stupid la if u all noe le... cus this decision sld have already been made 1 year ago... but now then decide... lol... really is damn stupid me la... haha... u all also think so hor... haha... but nvm la... better than until now also haven decide... wan noe wat issue then ask me in msn ba....

8 days to two events.... one is school reopen after the long break... haha.... and second is also my birthday as welll.... lol... like so ciao lor...haha...this year like so many different things... and is like most of the things are bad de.... can say is one of my darkest year in my whole 19 years of living... but hope it will go well in the new year...haha... sounds like new year day like that...haha...

ok la... tat's for all now ba... and the joke for today is The Tea Party...

When I was a toddler, someone gave me a little Tea Set as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. My father was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of tea, which was just water, of course.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!"

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy.

She watches him drink it up and then says, "Did it ever occur to you that the only place that a toddler can reach to get water is the toilet?"

2009-09-21T21:37:00.008+08:00

so sorry... so long nvr blog... haha.... the malaysia trip was super good...haha.... and guess wat... we like jus come back only and we planning a new trip... this time is from singapore - penang - KL... but this time maybe not genting...cus genting is super sian....lol... so sian until we go and play pool... lol.. but their pool is really cheap le... we play 3 hrs and i only pay RM4...lol... cheap rite....

went KL to do lots of shopping... lol... sounds like girl le..haha... but ok de... now generation change le... guys also like shopping de ok... haha.... we went to berjaya times square... from wikipedia... they say it is around 4 times the size of vivo... i dun believe de lor... but hor... we shop until our legs break le also haven shop finish... we like only complete 20percent of it... scary rite... haha....

this two days went to help my ex-boss at the food fair... haha... then met gary and kai liang there... lol... they also working there due to ITP... so this two days have been eating wif gary... haha... lol...

results coming out in the next few days le... in fact tml midnight.... lol... damn scare.... i take before so many big big small small de exam... this times scare the most... even i 'O' level also not so scare...lol... really scare cost will forward module... think some other DAC students also have the same feeling... nvm... post some pics now...

pics at the TUAS...

pics from our hotel room at KL

we extreme makeover of pey horng...look better rite... for those who noe him...

on the way to genting...

when we look down is damn scary lor... scare the cable car will drop down...

the fog was super thick until when i drive the GO-Kart... i cannot even c the road...

a last pic from our hotel room at genting

ok....now... long waited joke for the day...who is watching???

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:'Take only ONE . God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

2009-09-12T03:10:00.002+08:00

haha...this few days have not been blogging... cus busy working ma... haha... mon going on holiday le with sam they all... haha... so looking forward....lol... will post wif a lot of pics on the trip... so stay tuned next week... haha....

2009-08-30T18:40:00.006+08:00

yo... going to blog on something fantastic today... haha... MAYDAY (wu yue tian) CONCERT....lol... haha... yesterday went to their singapore DNA concert... was like super high de lor... and best of all normally other singers sing until 10.30 like tat only... but they sing all the way until 12.10am... haha...lol... best of all... can c their face somemore....lol... have some pics on the concert... for all of you to c...

an overview of the crowd...haha... so high at there...

this not taken very good...cus they singing high song so the lighting was ultra strong...

this moment think got ppl cry wor... cus they singing a super touched de song...

rare pic of 怪獸...

pics of 阿信 wif 怪獸 and 石頭....

pic of 瑪莎... but his face kanna covered by his hair...haha...

阿信.........

this is the ending part where every members plus the piano teacher... background singers all stand in one line to bow to us...haha......

i think the concert was super good lor.... i will confirm go for their next concert...haha....

now the jokes...Are Computers Male or Female?...

A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?"

The teacher wasn't certain which it was, and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other, of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories.

2009-08-22T22:55:00.002+08:00

yo.... it's blogging time... after taking a break from studying all this days.... haha.... this few days have been busy preparing for exam coming tuesday... but can only say one things ba... watever can learn i study and memorise le... but jus hope i wun get killed by theory qns agn... lol...

some ppl really funny la... yesterday i ask her... u study until whr le... she give a very perfect ans... barely touched... then i tell her tuesday exam le wor... then she say no time study this few days... when i ask y... she say birthday...LOL... haha... die le la u...hahha... sounds like cursing u...lol....

btw will u all be working this coming holiday... i actually went for an interview at FJ benjamin for a sales job... but the next day pey horng call me in the morning that got a new job... lol... and this time is a job tat i always wan to work as... accounts assistant... lol.. went for the interview yesterday and straight away i got in... haha... lol... so happy now... will be working together wif sam and pey horng... hope it's fun ba... lol...

btw i decide not to talk to u anymore ba... cus u hurt me badly 2 times... more than anyone else.... final advice to u ba... dun always think u very big... cus u're not...

now for the joke....playing wif time...

An old but still ruggedly handsome Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally, the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

"1955, ma'am."

"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously!? I mean, no sex since 1955!?"

Feeling charitable and a little bit drunk, she took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."

note: the 1955 means 7.55pm... but tat lady thot is year 1955...haha...

2009-08-12T23:35:00.002+08:00

ya... blog agn... this few days have been busy on proj and some school works.... firstly blaw is finally done.. i dunno lei... i feel like we can achieve a above average grade... but dunno la... cannot say now la.. otherwise the marks will look different from wat i think... haha.... FF proj was not return last week so think they will return this week ba. hope ba....

today was the GEMS presentation. OMG lor... haha... finally over le... dunno y lei... maybe i really dun like tat GEMS ba... haha... after school went to watch the movie but we come too early by one day... the show haven flash on theater yet... hahaa... so tml going to watch agn lor... haha....

last but not least actually the past few days i think properly le.... i think that sometimes thing that i think i can try to do it but actually i can't.... think y i say tat rite... haha... i really think that i can still be friend wif u and also try to.... haha... but think i am jus bluffing myself ba.... haha... can't be done... maybe this is character install in me already le ba...i dunno....

exam is coming 2 weeks later... good luck to all....

now for the joke.... more than what you think...

There was a woman who is dying of an illness and is lying on the bed.The husband was feeling very sad and asked what are her last wishes.The woman asked him to reach under the bed, which he found a box.Inside were 3 corns and $10,000."What's these?" asked the husband.The woman replied," Whenever i cheated on u, i would collect a corn.""I forgive you. But what about the $10,000?""Whenever i had a bundle of corns, i sell it."

2009-08-05T20:23:00.002+08:00

ok..... haha.... this week will be super busy agn... lol... as i thot FF finally finish le.... and here comes a worse one... lol... BLAW project... siao liao.... this is like more tougher than the FF project but have to finish it in a much shorter time.... 1 week... lol... so short... haha... but nvm la... i believe our group will do it de...haha....

friday maybe going to watch the new jack neo movie...lol... dunno y... really love his movie super much....almost all movie that he shot de... i watch before....lol... haha....

tml will be getting back my FF project marks... really hopes that it is ok lor.... haha...

now for the joke....Clinic Check Up....

Bill and Bob, two children, were sitting outside a clinic. Bill happened to be crying very loudly.

"Why are you crying?" Bob asked.

"I came here for a blood test," sobbed Bill.

"So? Are you afraid?"

"No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

As Bob heard this, he immediately began crying profusely.

Astonished, Bill stopped his tears and asked Bob, "Why are you crying now?"

To which Bob replied, "I came for a urine test!"

2009-07-31T23:53:00.003+08:00

YAY... my 100th POST.... haha....lol.... yesterday was my tax exam... shit man... 70plus agn.... ma de lor.... nvm.. forget it le... mus focus on the upcoming 50 percent exam... hope will score well in all my module...

haha.... and i make a new choice today.... jus in case if i can't get into a local university, i will go to uptrend business school to study for my degree... haha.... but hope the school wun be too expensive... until i have to go on street for begging.... haha... jus kidding... lol....

As for the malaysia trip.... everything done le... all hotel and bus tickets done... haha....so looking forward to the trip in mid september.... ppl always hope time can go backwards... haha.... but me... wan it to go forward... HAHAHAHHA...lame i noe.... next wednesday will be my gems acting le... dunno wat to act lor... but dun care la... since gems only need pass then ok le... wun affect GPA also ma....hahaa....lol...

ps: vivien pls dun curse me agn...HAHAHA...

now for the joke....Contempt Of Court.....

Having had to take the day off work to appear in court for a minor traffic summons, the man was growing increasingly restless as he waited hour after hour for his case to be heard.

Finally, late in the afternoon, his case was called. He stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned until the next day and he would have to return.

"What!" What for?" he yelled at the judge.

His Honor, equally irritated by a tedious day and the sharp query, roared, "That will be twenty dollars for contempt of court! That's what for!"

Noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge added, "That's all right. You don't have to pay right now."

The man replied, "Oh, I'm just looking to see if I have enough for two more words!"

2009-07-29T17:50:00.002+08:00

after this post... then will be one more step to 100 post le....hahah.... lol... this few days have not been blogging cus of tax exam is coming... so no choice... haha... but tml will blog wif jokes... stay tuned....LOL....

2009-07-17T23:02:00.002+08:00

hi all....haha... so long nvr post...lol... cus this week is a scary week ma.... return of all paper fully... lol.... lucky cost accounting did not let me down.... heng arh.... hahaha.... this week so funny lor... i finally got a new case le...lol... new mission le... but i can say this is the most difficult de i ever encounter... haha... but ok la... haha... cannot say who la... otherwise ppl will noe is *****... lol.... but i think sld be ok de la... as long as she got the will power....haha...

this week also have been planning a trip that will be on the coming sem holiday.... we plan to go on a kuala lumpur cum genting highlands 4D3N trip... haha... cus genting have the promotion now ma... haha..... so y not... lol.... quite fun lor i think... can go holiday overseas wif friends....haha... hope all will be fine....

now for the joke...The true job of a manager....

The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the doctor told him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do.

The farmer told him to clean the shit of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming from the city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week to finish the job, but for his surprise the manager finished the job in less than one day.

The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads of 500 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will not be able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done.

The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with small potatoes, and one box with big potatoes.

At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the potatoes bag, but the two boxes were empty. The farmer asked the manager: "How is that you made such difficult jobs during the first days, and now you cannot do this simple job?"

The manager answered: "Listen, all my life I'm cutting heads and dealing with shit, but now you ask me to make decisions."

2009-07-08T23:49:00.002+08:00

got back some of my result from my exam.... facc i think still ok ba... tax...although not getting an expected marks but on the overall still ok... haha.... a new operation is starting ba... call operation comeback... haha... mean to recover something... of course not tat person... haha... but another one... lol.... reason is simple.... how on earth can u recover ur boss... cus tat person always think that he/she is the boss ma... so no choice lor... wat to do.... piece of advice ba... u are worse ba... still say me...lol... nvm... back to my operation...lol... sounds lame.... but objective is simple is to get back to 1-2 months ago de state... lol.... hope all will be ok...

tml going to get back my finance marks...lol.. think die le...haha... stay tune in 3 days for my next blog... cus of my blogging policy 3 days per blog...haha....

now for the joke....tough question...

Can you Answer at least one of the following Question?

Q: An elephant has 5 bananas and it is hungry, but yet it does not eat the bananas.
Why?......... ....................

Ans: Because the bananas are made of plastic.

Next.Question is ...........The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why?...................

Because the elephant is made of plastic.Hahhaa.

never give up. one more..Both the elephant and the bananas are real, but yet it cannot eat it.......
Why ?..................

Because the bananas are in the TV.Ooops!!! Cool down.

Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?........,,,,,,,,......

Because they are on different channels.Hohohohoohohoh...... hehehe

Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV and on the same channel, but yet it cannot eat it.
Why?.....................Cmon think ...................................

Because the TV is off.Kikikikikiki

Now Finally the Elephant gets a chance to eat the bananas.
Why?.................................

why the hell do u think so much...let that poor animal have some food....Thank you..

2009-07-03T06:57:00.002+08:00

haha...very long nvr blog due to exam.... for exam ma.... overall i think still ok ba... if i list out the most confident to least confident to get A... then it will be cost accounting, business law, Fundamental of Finance then financial accounting.... haha...lol.... jus hope for the best ba... and also hope next week can get my papers back...haha....

after exam today went out with my entertainment clique... lol.. haha... tat's a new name confirm by me....hahah.... lol... which have me kenneth sam jinhao jamie huijun yuqi and ressal... haha.... lol.... we went to eat billy's bomber...lol...hahha... cus is our tradition to eat something expensive after sem exam and MST... lol.... haha....the food on the overall counted as nice lor... haha.... after that we went to watch transformer... OMG.... it was freaking nice man... haha... even if u ask me watch agn for 10 times i also willing...hahah....

oh ya... before ending the post... jus wanna say something to a female dog... lol... pls ok... pls stop barking here and there... it's getting pissed....u think i nvr say anything really mean i dunno or dun care meh... this is going to be my final ultimatum... if u wanna bark.... bark elsewhere that i cannot c... lol... that will be good for us....

now for the joke....interpretation error...

In the days when you couldn't count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India. She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster.

She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for "Water Closet".

She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring of the facilities about the WC.

The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC. Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a "Wayside Chapel" near the house . . . a bathroom never entered their minds.

So the schoolmaster wrote the following reply:

Dear Madam, take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located miles from the house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer months, I suggest you arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly.

It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC as it was there that she met her husband. It was a wonderful event. There were 10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces. We can take photos in different angle. My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been almost a year since she went last, which pains her greatly.

You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time.

I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere.

The newest addition is a bell which rings every time a person enters. We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all since many feel it is long needed.

I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all.

With deepest regards,
The Schoolmaster

The Woman fainted upon reading the reply........ and she never visited India !!!!

2009-06-29T10:06:00.002+08:00

later will be my blaw paper le.... although is all prepare le... but still scared... dunno how they will twist the qns to test us.... really hope all will be alright ba and my revenge is taken.... wish me well ba...haha..... will post when back from school.....

2009-06-20T19:21:00.002+08:00

this few days have not been blogging... cus something happen la.... this few days this something happen really affect me to the bottom... i really this few days can't sleep and eat well... think those ppl who noe me de...noe i am a person who love to sleep and eat... i can like sleep long hours and eat a lot... but now even this two items i also cannot function le... this actually mean this something really hit me to the bottom....i think continue saying i will change i will change is useless ba...most importantly is to do it and i will...

yesterday i sit down in one corner not emoing but jus think of all the mistake that i may have did wrong in life... and i really stun myself.... cus i realise i made a series of wrong things le... i dunno whether is it lucky a not for me to realise all this now... maybe some mistakes is already realise de too late le... but i jus hope that i will make it up to them before things really get out of hand...

i change my this friendship policy in like 2years ago i think... i really think this policy was the best policy at that time... but think after the reflection session yesterday... this policy is really not very good... this policy actually pamper me i think as it let me take things for granted... i yesterday think le think... last time i always classify friends under like hi-bye, normal, good, close and best... but now i take all those away le into only bad good and important.... hope this is good ba...

now for the jokes....THE ORIGINAL QUOTE...

originally is this
If you love someone,
Set him free...
If he comes back, he's yours,
If he doesn't, he never was ....

Pessimist:
If you love someone,
Set him free ...
If he ever comes back, he's yours,
If he doesn't, as expected, he never was

Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set him free ...
Don't worry, he will come back .

Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set him free ...
If he ever comes back, ask him why

Playful:
If you love someone,
Set him free ...
If he comes back, and if you love him still,
set him free again, repeat ...

Lawyers:
If you love someone,
Set him free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second Amendment of the
Matrimonial Freedom

Biologist :
If you love someone,
Set him free,
He'll evolve.

Statisticians :
If you love someone,
Set him free,
If he loves you, the probability of him coming back is high
If he doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.

Psychologist :
If you love someone
set him free
If he comes back his super ego is dominant
If he doesn't come back his id is supreme
If he doesn't go, he must be crazy.

ERP functional expert :
If you love someone
set him free
If he comes back, map him into your system
If he doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis

Finance expert :
If you love someone
set him free
If he comes back, its time to look for fresh loans
If he doesn't, write him off as an asset gone bad.

2009-06-16T03:05:00.004+08:00

haha.... funny rite... blogging in the middle of the night... lol...today i learn a new thing abt a particular thing... haha... although is like quite old le then noe... but ok de la... cus think a lot ppl more still dunno ma.... tat lesson teaches me something and it is going to change me liao... lol.... dunno wat rite... haha... something abt human mankind la... it changes me on how to treat ppl ba.... haha... u all c ba... lol... when the term starts my poly friends will c....lol...

nvm... jus random to blog... haha..... but jus a piece of advice to all ppl out there... if u also following my method of treating ppl then start to change before u regret... my method is a thinking that u treat ppl good they will treat u good as well..... this particular method is damn wrong...lol... so watch out everyone for those who uses this... time to change le or u will be like me... regret...lol...

and i shall now announce that operation icing is in operation against my biggest enemy...which is myself....LOL....

now for the jokes....cold joke...

Q: What is the world's most heaviest meal?
A: Wanton Noodle because its 'One Ton Noodle'.

Q: Who is the world's strongest man in the world?
A: Wanton Noodle Seller because he need to carry lots of One Ton.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Sweet Talk sells drinks, Bread Talk sells bread, What talk sells delicious chocolate bars?
A: Bar Talk (Buttock)

2009-06-14T23:41:00.003+08:00

haha.... some ppl say i always start a post wif ok i blogging agn... haha... so from now on... will jus start....lol....

Yesterday went to celebrate shu min's birthday wif the whole clique... lol... like finally went out wif them liao.... this phrase is from them...haha... lol... but it jus prove to me something... i really like quite long nvr go out wif them liao... lol.... like few months... lol.... a lot changes... not meaning their face i mean status...lol... haha....

we went to bugis and went to wongkok (dunno whether spell correct a not)... nvm... the area which i lost in eating...lol... then got the birthday drink by their shop... OMG lor... it is like ultra big lor...

Big rite.... lol... like we in total got 10 ppl.... also cannot finish the whole cup.... or sld i say JAR...lol....

After that went to merlion park starbuck to slack and chitchat...lol... and so shit lor... when reach home... my muscle hit me agn.... pain until i cannot sleep....in the end ard like 7 then managed to sleep.... super pain lor... and yesterday also happen a super irrresponsible event... nvm... forget it... dun wish to comment liao... since over already....

finally..... u rest well ba... this few days have been going out... yesterday still sick and today went to work agn... better take good care of ur health ok.....

now for the joke...Green Pink Yellow....

An American man, a Chinese man, and a Mexican man all died and went to Hell. The Devil said, "You know guys, you all have been sinners. But I'm in a good mood, so I'm willing to give you another chance. If you can think of a sentence using the words 'green', 'pink', and 'yellow' that will make me laugh, then you will go to heaven."

The Chinese guy goes first. He says, "One morning when I woke up, I looked out the window and saw a green field with pink and yellow flowers in it." The Devil says, "You think that's funny?" and the Chinese goes to Hell.

The American is next. He says, "One morning I was walking on the street and saw George W Bush with nothing on but a pink bra, green shoes, and a yellow mohawk." The Devil says, "Nice try, but that's not funny." The American goes to Hell.

Now, it's the Mexican's turn. But he's not very good at English and by now he is panicking. He blurts out, "This morning when the phone went 'green green green', I came to pink it up, and said 'Yellow'?"

The Devil laughs and says "Okay, you can go to heaven." And the Mexican's jaw drops, "Huh?"

2009-06-09T01:35:00.007+08:00

haha... blog agn...ps... nvr follow the three days per post policy...hhaah...lol... yesterday went to sentosa to so called tan myself and play...haha... lol... haha... hard to say in words... post some pics ba...haha...

haha...we four of us.... qing en shaun me and cheebeng( from further to nearest)

tat's chee beng (vincent) waiting for ball...lol...

tat's qing en(Ernz).... lol... he think he very sexy...haha...lol...

and tat's shaun .... the most handsome guy...LOL...

haha... we bury Ernz in the sand... as he enjoy the sand bath...lol...

tat's me and shaun....

the guy at far right is weiming(daniel) ahhaah....lol...

lol....overall... was quite fun la... haha...we decide to go out on 13 with the whole clique and not only we 5....lol...haha... as we have 11ppl....lol...tml going out to celebrate sam belated super long de birthday...lol... maybe will post tml ba... and i say maybe...haha...lol....

this few days actually have been thinking hard abt something... maybe i sld not fight on... cus i feel like i'm dead... cus of wat... not going to blame anything but only to blame myself ba... but after thinking so long le... actually have a verdict le... i will fight no matter wat happen... even if i only left wif 1percent success rate i also will fight....cus a quote says very true... u love a person doesn't really need to have her by ur side but as long as she stays happy and i will be happy....sounds so true right.... haha....dun think too much reader....nth happen...haha...

ps: sorry for this few days really... i very very sincere de apology...

ok... now for the joke....Dead Worms...

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class, closely observe the worms," said the professor while putting a worm into the water.

The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. He then put the second worm into the whiskey. It curled up and writhed about painfully, then quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

"Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?" the professor asked.

Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded confidently, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."

2009-06-03T00:19:00.002+08:00

haha....blog agn.... today stay all the way in school till like 9.30pm....lol... for the mentoring interview...haha... lol... ok de la.... dunno.... c those ppl ans the qns so funny....haha.... nvm... good luck to all ppl that are going for the interview ba... hahah....

this few days have been feeling down...lol... i also dunno y... cus i been feeling like i losing a ultimate big war for a person le... this few days whenever i c the letter V... will be like down agn... for wat reason... i seriously also dunno y... maybe because of her ba... i rmb i say this one year ago.... but for some reasons...it seem i have to repeat agn...i think her plane is leaving my airport le.... i dunno.... hope is i really think too much ba...

tml night going to my cousin wedding dinner... haha...going to have shark fin eat le....YAY....lol.... haha.... but a bit far lor... at M Hotel... which is at tiong bahru.... lol... haha... siao liao... tml think mus reach home fast fast liao.... haha.... tml will post the pictures of my cousin wedding...haha....lol....

now for the joke....Church Requirements....

A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?"

"Pastor, I'm afraid we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied.

"What happened?" inquired the pastor.

"My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was over come with lust and took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.

2009-05-30T18:51:00.002+08:00

yo...blog agn...before i go to do my tax project.... haha...jus a while ago jus knew something from someone about some issue... u noe... sometimes is the best whereby u say or do something without letting others knew abt it... cus when other actually knew abt it, then the return will be a super bad thingy... while this dun refer to me...but refer to some other... especially one person who have the surname of an animal... always think that she is pretty and sexy....OH.... PLS.... if we call nicely it will be called think too much... if we call in another extreme then it is called BITCH.... better die while eating some sugar form items... and YUP...i am cursing her.... no doubt abt it....

this maybe some ppl dun actually noe.... i long have already have this thinking of not going into the main committee....wanna noe y... haha...not cus of stress or the ability to work a not... is actually going into tat main committee jus make me look low class...wif such main committee... doesn't really know y the last committee will choose them...but heard is cus the other half of the current choose to opt out... and therefore those on the sideline can get in.... u c... this shows wat... this just shows that the current main committee is only make up of only 8-10 ppl who really have the ability to be in the main while others sideline....LOL... and someone... u really think u can be the vice president cus u are good... then better start to think twice first... u are there for a reason which i cannot say....

nvm... dun wanna wish to destroy my feeling over it....
now the joke....Johnny Needs A Bike....

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

2009-05-26T21:33:00.002+08:00

yo blog agn lo... haha... my FACC exam jus over on monday... haha....i think tat paper at least is better than the cost one la...but hope the journal wun kill me jiu ok liao... haha.... lol... coming is a three weeks holiday but dun think is a hoilday for me ba... haha...cus after holiday straight away MST liao... 4 module lor...including the most difficult de BLAW...lol...now siao liao... haha...think i am going to use 1 week jus to study tat...lol... a bit kua zhang i noe...but no choice..haha...

next week will c me start another course for me myself liao... ahah... after taking my tat human factors psychology and next week will be understand EQ course including brain games to help me deal wif ppl more easily and using a better way... especially some guy from some tourism course... he really think he been playing mind game wif us i really dunno...is only we dun wan to meet head to head.... but now... it's time we do our counter... jus a small piece of advice to u... better dun let us c u in school...LOL... sounds gangster but i'm not...lol...only to him i will do this...

haha.... now is resting time first... lol... until exam week then really really die die liao... haha... oh ya...abt to forgot...haha...jus have this quote to all my readers "something those ppl who did bad things to u are mostly the person u trust"...haha.... and i hate ppl who break bridges...haha....

ok now for the jokes liao....Doing the Dishes ....

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be. Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike to her house, where she is outside waiting for him. "No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word," She tells him," Our family had a fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven't done any since, but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them."
Steve sits down for dinner and it is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody is saying a word. So Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend throws her on the table and drills her in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

A few minutes later he grabs her mom throws her on the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, and her mother a little happier. But still there is complete silence at the table.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs his jar of Vaseline. Upon witnessing this, his girlfriend's father backs away from the table and screams, "OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY. I'LL DO THE DAMN DISHES!!" cus he scared that he will be the next target.

2009-05-24T16:41:00.003+08:00

jus a random post before tml post... jus wanna say something out... karma... think most of you noe wat it means rite... it's another word for retribution... do u all believe in tat??? if u ask me... i will say i totally believe in tat... haha... so better dun do bad things or hurt anyone... or u may receive something bad in return....

some ppl may noe who i refering to but think most will not know and either start having qns mark or start to guess whether am i talking abt him or her... haha.... standard rite... haha... but nvm... not going to say out who... but jus rmb... all reader... nvr do anything bad to anyone unless really no choice or u may or sld i say WILL receive a karma....lol...

end of post... c u all tml... and plus a joke... haha....

2009-05-22T23:06:00.002+08:00

yo... blog agn lo...haha... today de post... erm... can say more towards some of my thoughts....haha.... today is my cost accounting test... only one word...screwed... and is being screw by a qns only... and that qns can cause my A and B+.... wat the hell lor... nvm... monday still got FACC to take revenge... but hope is really revenge ba... dun later cause a second screwed....lol...

jus now think a lot... and think of some particular issues ba... and after all the thinking...come out wih some conclusion...haha....

no1... i really hate to be treated like a dog ok... happy happy then talk to u...if not happy then give u a attitude reaction...

no2... i believe if u dun wish to do something... is the best jus say out ba... dun indirectly do it... it is pissed if someone did it...

jus this two for the time being...lol...if have more will blog it out... lol... and lastly... think i should think whether sld i pull out le...lol... dunno wat it mean rite... haha... purposely make it ununderstandtable....haha... maybe the target nvr say anything... but can feel it la... lol... dunno la... still haven think straight yet... will come out wif a decision when i blog the next time which is three days later on monday....

now for the joke.....Praying Parrots....

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible.

Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying that...that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw this two male parrots were inside their cage, hold their rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

2009-05-18T23:06:00.002+08:00

haha... finally come back from camp.... wat i can is the camp was a BIGGGGGG SUCCESS....haha... firstly...thank you for all the GL that assist us... really thank you for all of your cooperation... vivien eunice jeslin farzana zixin daphne yuyun natasha evangeline... and of course GARY... he helps a lot... and last but not least aimin my partner(in camp)...haha....dun think wrong...lol...

haha....although very fun but super tired... like today...most of our committee members... in my course show sign of tired liao...haha.... kenneth me stella farzana late... sam... only reach school at 3 when lesson start at 8...zixin skip the whole day... haha...ameerah sleep in lecture...haha... so funny lor....

haha...got one thing wanna comment... is.. the games dept really did a great job in the amazing race... cus it's something new ma... i also find it fun... like finding someone in such a big place... let me say the next camp we go IKEA...haha....there will be worse...haha... cus the idea is given by hl...haha... so the next camp de camper... if u wan to noe who plan de...go find her....lol...haha...

ok... actually wanna post abt the camp de... but nvm la... otherwise my post will be super lengthy... and lastly...this few days have been very angry over something... but not going to elaborate on tat....

ok now for the joke...ah beng de small joke...

Ah Beng : People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybodysaid,Oh GOD! U have come again.

Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying"Parking Fine"
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole "Thanks forcomplement."

Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one handand not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so.
He replied thatthe weather forecastannounced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it wouldbe hot.

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentenceinto future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is "u will go to jail"

A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walkingin the Evening and not in the morning.
Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

2009-05-13T22:45:00.002+08:00

yoyoyo... is a three days agn... haha.... now have been chionging the foc de thing... this is driving me super crazy liao... haha.... This few days actually nothing really big happen except today de event ba.... since is over le... then wun go and talk abt it... jus i noe wat i sld do le from tml onwards...hehehe...

monday and tuesday is totally super boring.... lecture and tutorial...lol... so shall not talk so much abt it..haha... cus this will only make me sleep...haha....

Today is a bit better... haha... not saying the morning issue better but the afternoon de.... have a super boring gems lesson wif the botah...haha... then after that went over to meet hl at jurong east to go to library and also eat... ahha.... was super hungry lor...haha... but i can say is another enjoyable day for me... and to her... really sorry abt this morning....

now for the joke....cold qns...

(A)WHY IS VIVO CITY SO BIG ?
(B)WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACKMAN DRIVING?
(C)THERE'S A RACE BETWEEN THE CHILLI & TOMATO , THE CHIILLI IS LEADING ,Wat DID HE SAY TO THE TOMATO THAT WAS JUST BEHIND HIM?

(A) Cause there's GAINT in it
(B)Thumbdrive
(C)Catch up (ketchup)

2009-05-10T20:53:00.002+08:00

haha....actually sld be blogging every three days de... but haha... now blogging something that i really wish to say ma.... haha...so cannot wait till three days ltr...haha...

yesterday actually did a super regretable things... haiz... dunno y... human always will only learn the importance when they feel losing tat particular thing... this is the same goes to me... i really did a bad thing yesterday... haiz.... as it always says... sometimes when we did wrong we will be forgiven and things get back to normal..... but sometimes, it is a never return event le.... haiz.... i dunno whether is this never return or it will return... but i really hope is the latter....

from here i really promise u le... ok... everythings tat i promise u i will do it de... without fail...really hope u will haha.... fully forgive me...hehe....i'm sorry....

there will be no joke today cus is not three days up yet...

2009-05-09T23:33:00.002+08:00

haha... three days is up agn...haha... so now blogging....haha... thursday was a super day...lol... u noe y...haha.... cus i finally manage to sleep in a five-stars hotel in singapore....haha...but dun think too much la... jus the lobby sofa only...haha.... ya lor... wait for someone then fall asleep...haha....lol...

yesterday and today is my prep camp... wat i can say is prep camp is really really boring...haha....lol.... on friday have the last last game trial and sing along session ma...haha... then today have the last outdoor trial...haha... really super tired lor... haha....

after the prep camp went wif hl to bugis to eat...haha... wat the... i actually lose to someone lor in eating by jus 3pieces of bread...argh.......haha.... but nvm... tat is only round 1... we going to have round 2... and this time the theme is steamboat... this time i wun lose...haha.... but not bad la.... this time we went to wang jiao char chan ting....haha....

and this last... say to rujun...ok... sorry for the mistake...

ok now for the jokes...Relationship Jokes!

Wife: Honey….. What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing…?? U’ve been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying… & the other ensures UContinue to do so.

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.

2009-05-06T19:37:00.002+08:00

yo...blog agn... haha...this few days have been so happy haha... for some reasons of course...haha...cannot say la...lol... but some of them maybe will noe ba...haha...lol.....

monday missed the financial accounting tutorial...due to the always same reason... cannot wake up...lol... haha...think really mus find a way to make myself able to wake up...otherwise really die die liao...lol... but i am on time for my lecture after that... and it is my first time sitting wif her in lecture hall...haha....happy... is all i can say...hehe...our tax lecturer did not come and both lecture and tutorial is cancelled...

after that went JP wif HL... haha... and here comes the super angry part... i and her actually wanna watch friday the 13... but her year meet the M18 but not the month... lol... and we successfully pass two person le lor... jjus as we going inside... we kanna caught by a guy call leslie...idiot lor.. and hai us in the end watching X-men...lol...

tuesday was a sian day... cus lecture super sian...haha....lol.... haha..and thanks to a person who always say her good...for PEIing me go SAA....haha...lol....

Today went out wif her after my GEMS... lol... we went to IMM cus after that she is working ma...lol... haha... we are like some kids inside Giant...HHAHA.... really enjoying lor...haha...wif her...lol...

now for the joke....Dumb Blonde Cop....

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?". The motorist scuffles around in her purse, and finds a pocket mirror. She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself."

The cop says, "Ok Let me see it, then. So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, she looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

2009-05-03T23:45:00.006+08:00

haha... i am blogging again... haha...today was a super fun and happy day...haha.... this morning woke up but late and then go wif my mother to starhub to transfer the ownership of the plan....haha....lol... but the starhub really stupid lor....so many ppl and make me wait for so long...and in the end meet someone late....

haha... like actually meet at 1pm de at imm... at where she work...haha...but in the end 2.15 then reach...haha...really sorry HL... haha.... after that we went to the library to do homework and study a while first... haha...i also dunno y...wif her around i can finish my tutorial...haha... but like so funny lor haha... we was like talking and cracking jokes there... haha...lol... stay there for abt like until 6 then we go to IMM back to have our dinner....

we went to dine at secret recipe... we was like so funny lor agn... haha... we was like challenging who can have spicy more...haha.... we like purposely find all those spicy de dishes...haha...lol... in the end we order mushroom soups, grilled chicken with mexican sauce and chicken cardon bleu...lol... dunno got spell correct anot... but nvm...haha...

our mushroom soups...hehe...

hehe...our milkshake...one espresso one oreo...lol...

the dunno wat chicken cardon bleu...lol...

this is the grilled chicken which they says is super hot de...lol..

haha... some blur blur de ppl... haha...no la... kidding...

haha... and i am proud to present the new genenation of sugar invented by me and HL...haha... we called it the not equal sugar which consist of normal sugar, raw sugar and equal sugar...haha...

haha... after that went to daiso wif her and have so much fun there lor...haha... the funnest part is not they sell underwear... but is the way they display the underwear....like they hanging clothes like that...haha.... now then i realise daiso is so damn funny...haha... and we say we want to buy the whole store...since they say everything is sold at 2 dollars... haha...and we went to buy at honeydew soda... but taste so weird lor...haha...

haha...was really happy la... haha... and yesterday also past is our cca de GDD... a successful one i think... haha.... good job all SC...haha... three cheers to u all....

now for the joke...cold jokes...

q) Why did the coach kick Cindarella out of the team?

a) Because she ran away from the ball.

2009-04-29T22:30:00.000+08:00

haha...blog lo...cus of someone... who say got spider web on my blog le so blog lor...haha....

this two days actually nothing special happen lor.... haha.... monday... as usual late a bit for class...then after straight is the sleeping lecture... i can tell u lor...our BLAW lecturer is really mono tone.... until i can sleep...but the only thing i laugh at his lesson is that he look like the kungfu panda...HAHA.... then later at 2 went to meet HL (the same person who say my blog got spider web)....

tuesday miss the BLAW lecture totally..... cus cannot wake up....someone lor nvr wake me up...rite HL...haha...lol...no la...is i nvr ask her morning call me...haha...

today after my tutorial in the morning which i am late agn... went to meet HL... haha... c i so good lor... haha...pei u....lol...hahha..ok la...is u pei me...ok...lol... but i tell u.. my BLAW tutorial lecturer is like so typical old auntie lor... this complain that complain...lol...

today also went for mentoring at zhangde for the first time since transfer... haiz... still missed the days at qifa... but will try to get use to it ba....

now wif the joke...pay attention....

First-year students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you are not disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and ****ing on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them calmly and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and ****ed on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention...."

2009-04-26T17:52:00.002+08:00

yo man...haha...lol... going to talk abt a few more things.... no1 is our night walk trial 2.... as i say before ma... we are helping the environmental club which also known as night walk trial 2 lor... haha... i mean overall not bad la except got a super bad backache that until now also in pain....add things worse my back injures fu fa agn... damn shit... haiz.... no choice...who call i go and lie down and scare them...

now i also dunno waiting for wat...lol... eat "breakfast" or entertain myself... i dunno lor...haha...nvm... going to talk abt a event that happen jus only...lol... some ppl ok really thinks tat she is the queen... firstly is keep on give out tat bossy attitude.... secondly is when ken they all are debriefing themselves outside... she is not giving comment...but at a giving command TONE... u think u wat... which company CEO u think u are from... dun even wan to continue saying... nvm.. forget it....

haha... and some ah lian...wow... so guai now... doing tutorial now... haha..ok la... actually she is call hui lian not ah lian.. ahha.... i am going to copy from her lo...hahah...lol...kidding only... u rest well ba... since u sick...

now for the joke...The Tomato Garden ...

An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his Tomato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincenzo, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Vincenzo - I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I am getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the garden for me. Love, Papa.

A few days later he received a letter from his son...

Dear Papa - I'd do anything for you Papa, except dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies. Love, Vinnie.

At 4 am the next morning, FBI and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. The same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Papa - Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Vinnie.

2009-04-23T15:07:00.004+08:00

haha....first time went blogging in school... now having my two hours break ma (which was like yesterday)hhahah... so freaking boring lor... play table tennis play until tired liao so sit down at the sport hall and start blogging(halfway)...haha....

this few days have been happening so many things... wanna list down one by one...but it seems so long...dun wish to make my post so lenghthy...so will only say a few ba...haha...no 1...i starting to feel not so regret going FOP le... haha...know like so many new friends... although now not really tat close but soon willl ba...haha... especially that two member from the laughing group...rite...wen min...haha...

now in school...today cannot go home le...cus having the night walk trial...haiz... but this few days really nice la... know quite few new friends... haha... even noe a ah lian somemore...haha....think only she noe wat i mean.... also good la... cus most of the ppl dunno me ma...only noe that i am those noisy noisy de....hehe...if u noe me... u will noe is different le...haha...

this few days also noe somebody true colour lor... trying to act ke lian... worse u noe wat a not...she can say she dun like his and that cus she act ke lian... but she herself lei... ownself act ke lian...act until like she those weak weak kind de girl and need ppl to protect her... like wat the hell lor...she think tat she very good rite... happy happy talk to me... not happy..then talk to other ppl dun care me... ok... did u even think of how i feel a not... ok...U DUNNO.... u really think that u are the queen rite... ok i will show u wat is the meaning of dethroning a queen and let u be a commoner.... u really think u very big is it...ok...i can tell u...u are not even big....i told u... i am a human not ur servant....

now for the joke...Birthday Present....

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before."Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave."

2009-04-19T07:20:00.003+08:00

haha...blogging so early in the morning....yesterday went for the FOC trial...the amazing race... only two comments.... no1 is... damn tired... no2... the clue too lousy... lol...haha... or sld i say i sld not call it a clue...sld call it answer...lol...

now blogging is actually for someone de la... cus yesterday also dunno y...maybe too tired le... then fall asleep.... and fail to call her... sorry.... wun do it a second time anymore... really sorry... hope u forgive me can??? sms me if u forgive me.... hehe....

now for the joke...3 random jokes...

Three fastest means of communication:
1 Telephone
2 Television
3 Tell-a-woman

One day, DUREX complained to KOTEX: "KNN! everytime u work, I gotta 7 days off!"
KOTEX retorted: "KNS! whenever u make mistake during work, I gotta take 9 months leave".

A man called his 4th wife - baby doll,
3rd wife - china doll,
2nd wife-barbie doll and....
1st wife - GUESS WHAT NAME? PANADOL!!

2009-04-17T23:24:00.002+08:00

yoyo... blog agn...this few days have been busy agn...due to many things... haha... but mostly cause of the FOP lor... from monday to thurs have been having FOP... wat i can say is being a facils is fun... haha... i taken charge of DAC/1a/04... wat i can say is the class is really fun... and is the bondest out of all the dac classes....haha... cus got who?????? haha... lol... so bu yao lian me...haha...

haha... next is i noe this group call bao xiao er ren ju....from fop...haha...they really everyday also got some stupid they done that make us laugh like hell... cannot tell their name la...but wat i can say is they come from dac/2a/02 and dac/2a/08....hahah....lol...

this few days have been busy agn... with school and cca...haiyo... going to die le wor...but ok la...haha.... use to it liao....

now for the jokes...clever reply...

HUSBAND: Shall we try a different position tonight?
WIFE: That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"

2009-04-08T23:54:00.002+08:00

yo...blog agn...jus as i said... to be blogging more frequently... haha... firstly, i am proud to announced that today is officially known as **** ***** ***... haha... cannot type out...otherwise too obvious... lol...

haha...y today is officially called tat day... cus the person really too much le today.... and cus three people that dun even angry wif the person before to become angry like crazy...haha....but i myself also think that is really too much le la... if is me..i also will angry.... cus there is another person wif snorlax character come out agn liao... but this time..it's even worse than anyone i face before.... wat the person did to K i really feel pissed lor.... this is jus wat i call by schemeing lor...

ok...nvm... today kai liang told me a super funny joke today... cus he got one of his classmate using the nokia 5800 ma.... then his tat classmate rite...like everyday haolian in front of ppl the phone... lol... then he cannot take it liao...he say he going to tell tat person this..."ur this phone come out very long le arh?? erm... cus my grandma have been using it for very long liao...." lol... haha...

btw got one qns always have been very puzzled.... Is there a different between 5megapixel and 3.2 megapixel...lol... cus xiangting like dunno ma....lol... so hope my reader will answer me... which is better??? lol....

now for the jokes... drunker...

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs.

Half-way up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear end.That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke, and the broken glass carved up his buttocks terribly.

But, he was so drunk that he didn't know he was hurt. A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up something terrible. Well, he repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went tobed.

The next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom.

"Well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "Where'd you go?""I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers."

"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied. "You got plastered last night. Where the heck did you go?"

"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?"

"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror."

and here is the ans for the world easiest qns...
1)116 years
2)Ecuador
3)Sheep and Horses
4)November
5)Squirrel fur
6)Dogs (Canines)
7)Albert
8)Crimson
9)New Zealand

2009-04-07T01:24:00.002+08:00

wow...it's been a long time since i blog... going to blog more regularly from now on... so guys and girls out there looking for jokes... stay tuned.... cus today the joke is testing all of your brain...haha... c whether u clever or stupid...haha....

have been watching F1 for two weeks le...wat i can say is... brawn GP is really gay.... and ferrari is really disappointing... hope they will do well for the coming china sinopec Grand Prix...haha... i jus wish to c massa and rak got back on top to get some points jus like last time...

AND... i got my new phone... kind of love my new phone le... cus is so different from my previous N81... haha....but i have plan my next phone le... haha...is the upcoming N86... coming out in october....

This week also got two new things... got a new close friend and a new gan mei...LOL.... hope she will also acknowledge me lor in her blog as i am her gan ge....lol...and the new close... i promise u la...i wun angry wif u de la...lol... i also like nvr angry wif u before...LOL... and my gan mei..dun jealous... i will treat u even better from now... hope u will also ba...haha...

ok now for the question....stupid questions with SMART answers...

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

and now here comes some easy qns that i wish all my viewer to ans... the ans will be release either tml or the day after tml...haha... rmb... dun think too much...

World Easiest Quiz...

1)How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2)Which country makes Panama hats?
3)From which animal do we get catgut?
4)In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5)What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6)The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7)What was King George VI's first name?
8)What color is a purple finch?
9)Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

2009-03-23T21:18:00.004+08:00

yo....first thing is i change my blog song...haha...to 相信 by mayday.. a super nice song hope all of u will go listen...

actually should have blog a few days ago... but have to work...work le come back home super tired le...so no mood to really blog... this few day have been working as sales... tired lor... from 11am to 10pm... work until the leg almost break into half... but still ok la cus my working place got lots of FREE foods and drinks to consume....haha....

this few days have also got back my result...ok la...quite happy wif it... cus got improve ma...if not for last sem low result...i would have got higher GPA lo...but this GPA still ok la...year 2 will fix a whole new engine and drive liao...lol...

and yay... my new phone will come le...N85 on 1st april....yoyoyoyo....so happy abt it...haha...lol... tml going to pei my lady boss go buy clothes from RAOUL cus i got the 25percent staff discount wat....haha.... but dunno la.. think from the next holiday onwards i am going to go back to raoul to work cus i think i feel that i sell better in clothes ba...hah.....

and this one more thing...haha.... this few days i really feel that my face de skins is growing thicker and thicker liao...haha... cus i always take all those sample for myself and for "someone".... haha... lol... but still ok la... at least is free... lol... and pls be a bit fair to others from now on... dun only think of urself...

now for the jokes....Old Man & His Wife....

Ah Pek and Ah Ma in Their Golden Years

Ah Pek and Ah Ma were lying in bed one night.

The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted totalk.She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily, he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to getback tosleep.A few moments later she said, "Then, you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek andsettled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said, "Then, you used to bite my neck."Angrily, he threw back the bed covers, got out of bed and walk away.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To get my teeth lah!"

2009-03-18T09:11:00.001+08:00

blogging today....stay tuned....

2009-03-07T00:24:00.004+08:00

haha... so long never blog le... cus of job problem then fail to blog for so long... yup...this few days also have been busy wif my CCA stuff. wednesday have been going back school to do up our dept de props le.... haha.... and one thing... i am determine to let my mentee have improvement in his maths. and so... intensive maths lesson is going to start as of next mentoring session...haha...

friday also went back to help out.... haha...was some sort of guilty cus thursday did not go cus of cannot wake up...lol.... haha... today was good... at least our dept have managed to finish everything liao.... haha...think we the first dept to finish up....haha... who do de???? haha... dun say to much la...ltr ppl will noe is i do de...haha...lol...

today the art dept also repeatedly kanna suan by me and kai liang.... haha.... especially yixin and daphne are hit the most... lol... and kai liang today then noe daphne is call daphne and not stephanie...haha.... got one time he even say "ah... step-daphne"... haha..sounds like stepping her...haha...

today actually wanna tell someone something... but tat someone is busy agn.... this time for a course. as from the blog have seen her and another person relationship like becoming very
close liao.... think scare i will be brush aside liao and the person takes over my place...I gotten see ba... if the person really do tat... a new world war will start agn which i cannot lose.... i dunno... cus she thot i am angry today for some reasons...but is untrue...the real one is above.... whether the person even care a not... will c how u going to react to me when u c the post.... jus hope is not wat i think ba....haha...

ok...now for the joke...."Generous" lawyer ....

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?

"Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a A veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again."or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again,

"So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

2009-02-24T21:48:00.003+08:00

firstly i change a whole new blog song today....lol...

yo everyone... blog agn due to overwhelming pressure by some R person.....haha....lol....jus kidding... ok first thing is exam is finally over.... for all the exam is ok to me ba... except for stats... total disaster... but have to c liao lor...lol...

next is my job...lol...currently still looking for a job. have send out a lot of resume. dunno whether will have respond a not...jus hope that the person will call tml morning and say i got a job le and can go down to the company straight for interview le... lol... faster job....i need you...lol...sound so despo... but actually quite la...lol....

someone missed my "concert"... haha... then expect a refund....lol... like so funny can...never go to the concert but ask for a refund.... haha...first case in singapore....lol....so tat's all... will blog once i got a job.

now for the jokes....pervert

one day during a tuition class, this teacher came in and start the lesson

teacher: ok kids, we are going to start our lesson today.

kid: so wat are we studying today?

teacher: we are studying biology. ok. let me ask all of you a simple question. who is the most pervertic in this world?

kid: i know i know. it's baby.

finding the answer weird, the teacher ask: why is baby the most pervertic?

kid: it's easy because they breastfeed.

2009-02-17T02:11:00.002+08:00

yoyoyo.... haha.... finally after today three exam down.... MOB, Econs and CRS.... and now left with PACC and STATS only....good good...for MOB got some mistakes le...but Econs got more confident...haha...hope everything is alright... and tml will start pacc revision liao...but only have one day....lol....

haha....like some ppl hor...give me a new nickname agn....haha.... chung chung....lol....die liao....y my nickname become more and more liao...and is all create by the same person.....haha...lol...

this morning got a very strange dream.... intially i teaching rujun in the morning but in the end i could not wake up....wake up sometimes but then sleep back...hhaa....then i dream of this... i dream that i teach her econs in 7-eleven.... and when i teach her...she suddenly shout at me and i suddenly woke up and suddenly i need to teach her...haha...lol....wat a strange dream...haha....

this friday will be going to celebrate the end of exam... is concert time this friday...haha...

now for the joke....deserts....

A man was lost on a desert. He walked for so long and he was very very thirsty. He then saw a sign board wrote : Go this direction, 100 metres away, u can find something to quench ur thirst. Come On.

He was very excited, even though he was tired but he tried his best to walk following that direction. Then another sign: " only 50 metres remained, try hard".

And then : " 20 metres away only, u will not be thirsty anymore"..So excited already, he walked faster in order to find that thing to quench his thirst."10 metres only, faster faster"...

Then he reached there, he found a cup with a sign board : " This one will help u to put water, come on and find water urself ..

2009-02-12T21:05:00.002+08:00

yo...blog agn....haha...so wat happen since i blog the last time???....haha....really happen some other things....firstly is my Gems exam....haha....think gone liao....lucky Gems marks will not affect my overall GPA....and will only reflect either pass or fail....so nvm.... as long as pass can le...lucky my project in Gems score quite well...otherwise sure die.....

after that is my MOB exam....or u can say management exam... the exam arh....quite confident in section B but not the MCQ part....the MCQ was super tricky lor...some qns can fit for 2 ans lor....so was like anyhow choose liao....got one qns worse....the qns is saying abt a person giving long talks...and they ask us what type of barrier is she facing in communication? and guess wat... all four choices can also say be the ans although only one is correct...lol....how to choose....lol....but in overall still ok la for the paper....jus hope overall can get a B....

so next on is team CRS tml...team econs on next monday....team pacc on next wed and team stats on next friday.....haha....dun understand wat the hell is team rite...haha...mean exam la...haha....good luck to all the teams.....and hope they all hit their targets successfully....

next is abt haha...human issue....haha...lol... someone good good lor...starting call me da sha then now call me sergent Tay( like the one in the show tuan yuan fan)....lol...paper paper u really good lor...haha.... and lastly jus dun understand y ppl can like so funny lor... like they wrong le or half in the wrong...but they can still like act until like u in the wrong le....like so PRO lor....wat the hell really dun like this type of ppl....but nvm....forget it....

now for the jokes...gifts....

John: It's my wife's birthday...
Peter: What's your gift to her?
John: I asked her what she wanted
Peter: What did she said?
John: Anything, as long as there is a DIAMOND.
Peter: What did you gave her?
John: Playing cards.

2009-02-11T02:10:00.002+08:00

yoyo...as i said... will blog after my ideas presentation....or sld i say this is a forced posts...haha....no la....jus kidding.... this few days have been so de mixed feeling.... maybe because of exam ba....lol... finally finish memorising MOB... hope that i will still be able to remember the points ba...

this few days have experience some really happy things and some really angry things.... but what is the things i wun say any further le.... all i can say for happy things is jus like my msn PM.... my happiest moment in 2009 is talking to u on phone... i serious de...haha... not kidding...

today our IDEAS presentation was...erm.... i think is ok la...but dunno can get an A a not....jus hope tat i can ba.... after tat kenneth and i went to buy present for someone....lol...like so funny lor when we choosing the birthday card.... haha... cus the shop use code to determine the price... then we try to find the code 100 (cheapest la) type of card... but find here find there also cannot find...feel like a bit scam...haha...lol...of course we did not buy the cheap one la...jus curious only...hhaa... the presents hope they like ba....haha....

tml will be having MOB and GEMs exam... haiz.... a bit scare but not as tense as the last sem exam....also dunno y like tat...haha....jus hope my both exam will be alright...and yup.... to end off... jus wanna say....i will not study controlling in mob anymore....or dun even wanna care abt controllling....

now for the jokes....Three answers most scared by men...

（ 1 ） (Whatever)
Men: What to have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why not we have steamboat?
Women: Don't want la, eat steamboat later got pimples in my face
Men: Alright, why not we have Si Chuan cuisine
Women: Yesterday ate Si Chuan, today eat again?
Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood no good la, later I got diarrhea
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women : Whatever..

（ 2）(Anything)
Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching movie? Long time we didn't watch movie
Women: Watching movie no good la, waste time only
Men: How about we play bowling, do some exercises?
Women: Exercise in such hot day? You not feel tire meh?
Men: Then find a café and have drink
Women: Drink coffee will affect my sleep
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Anything

（ 3）(You decide)
Men: Then we just go home lo
Women: You decide
Men: Let take bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don't want la
Men: Ok we will take Taxi
Women: Not worth it la... for such a short distance
Men: Alright, then we walk lo. Take a slow walk
Women: What to walk with empty stomach woh?
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let's have dinner first
Women: Whatever...
Men: Eat what?
Women: Anyting

(this is jus a joke only...not biased against female)

2009-02-10T14:21:00.001+08:00

today actually promise to post... but i think i will post after my ideas presentation better...haha...sorry

2009-02-08T18:15:00.003+08:00

Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.

haha...have not been blogging for many days le...y....cus the big exam is around the corner le.... this time really have to do well and beat my all time rival... dun wish to say is who but the person know tat himself/herself... lol....the target for this time is as followed in overall....

pacc-A
stats-A
econs-B
ITAB-B
MOB-B
CRS-B+
IDEAS-A

not putting the target too high...otherwise the target will not be attain liao...haha..lol...so this few days have to mug and mug and still mug....

oh ya...btw...have change my blog song cus some cloud and star say me previous song like some indian songs...so no choice change lor...now this song will sounds better and even more emo abit....lol...so the cloud and star...is this sounds better...haha...

this few days have a new student...and haha...teaching her hor really is challenging lor....haha...but still ok la not so bad...haha....and this person hor keep on laugh at my joke tat happen at mentoring...lol...haha...nvm la... she happy then joke lor...haha...

tml going for medical checkup agn.... one week really pass so fast lor...haha....and finally this few days also knew quite some bad things ard me... although not concerning abt me but still find why mus there be this type of people living in this world....lol...

now for the jokes....the bird story....

A little girl was walking along a beach in California whenshe came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspapercovering his genitals.The little girl said, "What do you have under that newspaper, Mister?"

The man said, "Nothing, it's just a bird, now go away!"The man thought nothing of her and quickly fell asleep.

Hours later, the man woke up in a hospital bed in excrutiating pain."Where the hell am I?"A doctor replied, "Someone called 9-1-1 and said you needed emergencyhelp, so we rushed you right over."

"Well, what the hell happened to me?"

"We don't know, son. Do you remember anything unusual happeningto you today?"The man said, "Well, there was a little girl bugging me justbefore I fell asleep."

The doctor sent someone to the beach to see if the little girl was still there, and she was. The person said, "Do you know what happened to that nice man you saw here earlier?"

"Well," the little girl said, "I started to play with that nice littlebird that he had and the damn thing spit on me. So, I wrung its neck,broke its eggs, and set its nest on fire!"

it is jus a joke...dun think so pervert....

2009-02-08T03:34:00.000+08:00

will post tml....

2009-01-31T23:56:00.002+08:00

ok...lots of days never blog....this few days have been ok la.... at chinese new year haha....saw all my relative and ok lor haha....quite happy.... and we play blackjack.... haha...when is my turn to be banker i was damn lucky lor.... 3 plays.... one win wif 20... another wif blackjack and the last wif wu long....lol....win them damn lot of money...haha..

so now i am going to announce the most pissed days in the year....is.....yesterday...30 january 2009....y??? cus kanna anger by two separate things...number 1...is cus of some stupid ppl...today i was late for my econs tutorial...and my lecturer ask me and some others who are late as well to stay back and explain to him....so after lecture i told him is because of train fault... cus the damn train keep stopping and going really slow.... at least 5 stops the train did not open the door and jus hang there for like 3-5 mins then move....lol... and guess what he says... he jus say... i dun buy tat story cus y only we this few kanna affected and say is i overslept...wat the Fuck lor... and start taking all my past late reason to say....like wat the hell lor...he is asking y am i late this time and not y r u late from the past till now....he understand what he is asking a not....furthermore our train was the first train that have fault... actually at tat time the train interval sld be 4-5 mins but when we see the board stating the time arrival for the next train is 1 min ok...this prove THERE IS A TRAIN FAULT ON OUR TRAIN IDIOT.....

second thing worse.....some snorlax jus dunno how to say things at the correct time...when we already confirm on something already...and getting ready to move on...this milo jus ask a freak qns and everyone mind change agn....and we have to discuss agn...wat the hell lor....waste of our time....nvm...forget it....

today morning called R up...but so funny... as we are both so tired... so we actually fall asleep while phoneing...haha...lol....lucky i five mins later suddenly wake up otherwise die....haha...

after tat went to my cliques's house to pai lian....haha....haha....someone hor... play blackjack play until too excited liao until her periods come...lol...the floor was wif her blood lor...

ok now for the jokes....Gay Flight Attendant ...

An airline's passenger cabin was being served by a flamboyantly gay flight attendant who put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks while making cracks and telling jokes.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvin has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed, sophisticated woman hadn't moved. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, "Well honey, in my country I'm called a Queen, so put your tray up, bitch."

2009-01-25T20:44:00.004+08:00

haha....jus back from my grandma house... haha...this year they not bad wor... come out wif steamboat...haha...although quite common but it's new for our dinner...haha...cus this is our first year having steamboat...haha...eat until super full lor...but at my grandma hse really super sian...no internet....argh.... but someone say sth correct la....i sld be fortunate le cus some of the ppl dun even have a grandma hse to gather and eat le...haha....

Today change my blog skin as chinese new year comes le....i also believe this current blog skin is nicer than last one ba..haha...so all viewer be my judge and say which is nicer ba in my tagbox...hhaha....oh ya...my blog song have also change le...try listening to it ba...it is really a nice song...

btw....eileen yesterday on phone ask me to make this swear...haha... i swear if i next sat never go out wif clique then this year all the birthday for my clique i pay...haha....ok le ma eileen...lol...

now lets talk abt something a lot of ppl wan to noe ba...haha...hope so...haha...to say the truth ba... for the 18 years that i have live ok....i have never see any as ta ma de as tat person ok...it is really very fuck ass ok....always think that he/she is the king /queen like tat ok....For all my life i have never really feel very disappointed over someone...tat person is the first i feel super disappointed....from now on...i tell u... i will not treat u as friendly...u wan to play rite.... then i will play wif u....if the person wan to noe is it him/her... then notice whether i have any changes towards him/her lor...think all of u wan to noe ba who is the person....i will only tell the whole story to one person only...haha...so nvm ba...jus noe the surface for other also quite interesting le...haha....

now for the jokes.... Sleeping soundly.....

A man and a woman were sleeping soundly one night when they were awakened by a loud sound in the hall.
The woman turned to the guy and said,"I think it's my husband."
The guy immediately jumped out of bed, grabbed his clothes and jumped out of the window stark naked.
He then painfully crash landed into a thorn bush outside, rolled a few times on the rough, concrete driveway and made a beeline for his car.
A few moments later, the guy came back into the house and said,"Wait a minute, I AM your husband!"
The woman replied,"Then why were you running?"

2009-01-24T19:08:00.004+08:00

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.

yo....blog agn....but this time i feel honoured....haha...cus i invited angela and fei yu qing to my blog....haha.... if u dun believe then view the following vids ba...haha....but i somehow unable to load my both vids up my blog.... but anw....jus tat we went to sing K tat time after our sub com outing and this two person really sing until so like them lor.... the fei yu qing is sam and angela zhang shao han is zixin....haha....

yesterday finally present our CRS after being delay in presentation of our group for a week....i mean ok la...i believe our group did quite well.... and i hope can get a B+ or A ba....jus really hope...

this few days have been accompanying someone till late night lor...lucky tat person got thank me in her blog....haha...lol...btw to fulfill the promise to some one... have to type this edited version out...hah...

this few days have been accompanying someone lor...wan to noe who...is rujun....lucky tat person got thank me....wan to noe who...is rujun....inside her blog...wan to noe whose blog....is rujun's.... she have been doing her mob proj.... wan to noe who.... is rujun and rujun group proj....tat's y u noe when asking her a qns....wan to noe who... is asking rujun.... i need to use ten times...wan to noe who... is rujun.... ask 10 times but get an answer still ok but after 10 times still got no ans lol.... wan to noe who i talking abt...is rujun....therefore hor sometimes quite pekcek wif her lor...wan to noe who is the her...is rujun....but after tat thinking she doing something ma so no choice....who is doing something...is rujun....

ok jus nice 10 times...haha...i fulfill the promise le hor....lol....

tml will be chinese new year eve le... so here wish all people happy chinese new year.....

now for the joke....helpdesk jokes (part 2)
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer ?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you ?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there anotherkeyboard ?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work !

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letterV as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password ?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was ?
Customer: Five stars.

Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use ?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on mycomputer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !

Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you ?
Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can youplease tell me how long it will take before you can help me ?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem ?
Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me ?

Helpdesk: How may I help you ?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem ?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?

2009-01-17T01:37:00.002+08:00

have been sick this few days...haiz....

today will also be a short post...post jus to vex my ANGER.... a idiot bastard motherfucker provoked me...and i tell u i am now super duper angry with tat person.... fucker.... curious to noe who rite...then come ask me lor...but i will only tell some ppl only....or even the issue that the motherfucker have provoked me....for all my life i have never seen such a person before... not jus this single incident ok...and is over a series of incident....even water when u pour over the cup linit will flow over needless to say my tolerant to u... i have already been quite good...i'm using a 1litres cup...but u still choose to hit the bottomline...i swear i tell u... from now onwards...i will declare war on U from all sides with immediate effect....and let's c who is the one left standing....btw regarding the telling ba...erm...i will only tell those ppl whom are good friends to me or i have share my secret with that person before....so for others that i never say my secret or shu cool to dun bother to ask me ba....in poly only like 8 person i will say ba if they ask...cus i always talk to them regarding on wat forms....like msn or face to face or phone.etc...secondary only my clique ask i will say...haha...but i really hate person to the CORE already...

sat going for sub com outing....i can tell u my mood will be damn shit black....not going to bluff u...u will not c my normal self.....aft tat going to katong to sing K....hope all went fine...

haha...and i noe i a bit violent to scold some bad de words at the begining....but is really super duper angry le then will like this....today and maybe tml will be posting a different kind of joke...is call a customer service hotline jokes...there are too many so i break up into part 1 and 2... all the jokes listed below are all true happening tat happen between customer and helpdesk and are not create out...so enjoy...in seeing how some ppl can be so funny..haha..

now for the jokes....Microsoft Help Desk JOKE...

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have ?
Customer: A white one...

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button ?
Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still onmy desk... sorry .

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left ?

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you ?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me ! I'm not BillGates damn it !

Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try itsays 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it infront of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer ?
Customer: No.

Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am ?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly ?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening.

2009-01-16T02:47:00.001+08:00

tired tired tired....today sick and still have to chiong crs...haha....but still ok la...tml will post the rest....hehe...

2009-01-09T17:51:00.002+08:00

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

so long haven post le... today posting...haha.... this weeks is so good lor....in a learning point of view....later then will go in depth.... so to begin off... haha....sunday went to indoor stadium for mayday concert.... the area was damn the high lor....and is my first time see mayday in person....they sing a lot of good song...atmosphere was damn good as welll....tat's y i and kenneth decided to go for their august 29th world tour concert....haha.....

nothing great really happen ba during the week except the return of some papers except stats, itab(powerpoint) and ideas...haha...the result ma...still ok la...jus the method i use to solve something fail totally... jus dun even noe how to break the stupid curse....

this week also let me learn a whole new topic... human heart... actually dun really noe how a human heart works psychologically... but this week finally finish the new topic.... as a saint said this before... to understand something fully, one mus experience it as well.... and this is totally true man... actually yesterday was super haha down ba....but mus thanks someone wor tat never fail to make me happy... haha... rite ivy??? haha....and yuyun... dun think so much le abt tat issue.... stop before it gets even worse is my words for u....dun be like me in the end....

now for the jokes....clever woman....

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to leave, otherwise they are all going to fall.

They were not able to name that person, until the woman held a very touching speech.

She said that she will voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman she is used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in general, without ever getting anything in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.......

2009-01-01T18:35:00.004+08:00

Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs

the first post of the new year....haha.....actually wanna post yesterday de...but cannot find the time to post...haha....

this few days at home was really sian after sian....got back one result out of the 6 le....which is econs....still ok la...i actually think is ok....a B+ grade of 75....i believe ok la.... the rest will only return next weeks...hope everything will be fine ba...wat i scare most now is MOB lor.... cus really have a strong feeling that i will fail tat...but hope everythings is fine ba...

this few days...someone did a very good job lor...by morning call me damn damn early...haha... i slp at 6.30 ba tat day... and she call me at 7...wa....i only slp 30 mins only....haha....and she ask me to rmb tat..haha... so u c... i told u i going to blog it and i will de...haha...miss yuyun(pig)... haha.....she always so hyper de lor...everytime say tired le....but when talk on phone wif her....she sound so hyper....haha...lol...

this sunday will be going to mayday concert at the indoor stadium....haha... really looking forward to it lor...althought this is not my first time going to a concert but...this is my first time seeing mayday lor...haha....watch their past concert on DVD before...was damn high lor...so i think this one will also be tat way....

this few days i really think properly le....like since you can be so cold-blooded de hua...then i will also be cold-blooded to u....wan to noe who i am talking abt rite....haha....wun tell de...haha... those in the same poly as me...u all observe ba...then u all will noe le...haha....

now for the joke.....Men Don't Write Advice Columns...

Here's an example of why men do not write advice columns...

Dear Walter:
I hope you can help me. The other day I left for work, leaving my husband in the house watching TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car slowed to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was wearing my make-up. I am 32, my husband is 34, and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to convince me that he had dressed in my lingerie because he couldn't find his own underwear. But when I asked him about the make-up, he broke down and admitted that he'd been wearing my clothes for six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He lost his job six months ago and says he has be en feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Sheila Lusk

*******
Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of problems with the engine. Start by making sure there is no debris in the fuel line. If it's clear, check the clips holding the vacuum hoses onto the intake manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps.
Walter

2008-12-24T04:14:00.005+08:00

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world.

yup...blog agn....this few days have been at home....except for sunday and monday....

sunday

haha....went to the national stadium to support singapore in their semi-final match against vietnam....the atmosphere there was great man....it was a full packed stadium of 55000 ppl....nvr seen so many ppl ever since the match against thailand in the competition last year....haha...although we lost in the end to 1-0...i still think we are great....and futhermore we have a great time scolding and booing the vietnam fans....and even almost lead to a fight between the singapore and vietnam fans....haha...lucky there are police there....

monday

went out for a bbq session agn but this time by mentoring....haha...ok la...quite fun abt tat...but still emo abit...haha....cus everytime when i c the sea....there will be many image fly past...last time i also dun have this problem.....haha...nvm....but the most stupid thing is to be cut by the freaking grass....and it bleed lor....wth.....

before ending off....have this last part....to someone....when the person reads it...she will noe it's her...haha...maybe....haha....i make up my mind le...haha....will pei u on that new year eve night....cus i think through le... u are more important ba...haha....hehe....dun psyco me to change my mind...i have make up my mind le... got a small bit bit touched...haha...lol....

now for the joke.....One Wrong Question....

Young Boudreaux applied for an engineering job way, way up north in Shreveport. A local man applied for the same job and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one question. The manager went up to Boudreaux and said "Thank you for your interest, but we' ve decided to give the local man the job." Boudreaux said "Why You gonna be doin dat sir, we both got 9 questions right?"

The manager said, "We made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one you missed." Boudreaux asked "An jus how da heck would one incorrect answer be mo betta dan da otter?"

The manager replied, "Simple, the local man put down on question #5, 'I don't know,' you put down, 'neither do I.'

2008-12-19T01:29:00.007+08:00

haha...as promise....i will blog today on wat happen....haha...today went for K session....this time is better cus in all the songs we sang, i vid down 5 of it....haha...to let all visitor to listen to our vocal...haha....i will put the song in order of nice level....wif the nicest at the top....haha....

this is a song by me and sam called 冷風過境by 5566( the below one is in realplayer form...will be faster in buffering...jus press on the pic can le...but the quality will be a bit poor...have a earpiece attach is better...so that u can hear)

haha....cus having upload problem wif other two....so will try to upload them tml....for all of u to watch....but the first one in here is the best recommend to listen...haha...after listen le if have any comment of it tag it in my tagbox ba...only serious comment no suanning...haha....

ok....after tat we went to our class bbq....haha...was quite a bit fun la when trying to start the fire...was a bad day for me ba....really hope tml will be better...haha....

now for the joke...Dumb Blond Husband ...

A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he says.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his four-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, walks past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

"You rotten bastard," says the husband. "My wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

2008-12-18T02:44:00.004+08:00

Truth can be outraged by silence quite as cruelly as by speech.

haha....for so long le....so blog agn...haha...this few days of holiday really is bored to death lor....haha....cus nothing much really happen so never blog for so many days...haha....ps for those ppl who are waiting for the jokes...haha...from now onwards if nothing special to blog, i will post jokes every two days....to keep my blog active...haha

haha...on tuesday went for my first sub com meeting...damn long lor...4 straight hours of meeting...really super bored lor inside the meeting room... but during the meeting i heard a bad news....which i can't say...haha...

this few days have been watching drama agn...jus like the last holiday...lol...really is damn bored...

today going to have class bbq....but before tat going for a K session...will blog on the K and bbq thingy wif pics tml...haha...so....stay tuned....

and finally this last portion is for a person de....haha...this few days i noe i have not been understanding....but i am not purposely like tat de...cus this few days i have been thinking and vexing a lot of things...and u noe what is the things de...i told u the day before yesterday....so i hope u won't be irritated or angry wif me can??? and let us be like last time like tat happy ok??? which mean i would not be vexing and easily angry anymore le ok??
rmb to reply me ur ans in sms...haha....

now for the jokes... Embarrassing Revenge...

A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. “Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?“

To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I won‘t sleep with you tonight!“

Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, “I‘m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I‘m a journalist and I‘ve got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations.“

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean two hundred dollars?!!!“

2008-12-05T22:13:00.004+08:00

Forgiveness is the act of admitting we are like other people.

yup.....didn't blog for really long....haha.....cus this whole week is exam, exam and still exam....this times the MST....haiz.....doesn't noe whether can help my target for each of the module a not....

for MOB really scare will fail cus like i forget to ans the problem....like wat the hell.....

then for Stats think will be ruin by the theory qns....

ITAB is total disaster

accounts is haiz......i dunno wat to say

and finally econs.....dunno whether can get A a not....

haiz.....forget it....since over le means over le.....now can only wait for the results to release when school reopen....from now it is holiday....but money is flying real fast....two bbq coming and guess wat.....for this two bbq i need to pay 20 bucks....like lol....so ex lor.....make things worse....christmas coming....lol.....

today aft the econs exam....went to sing K wif sam kenneth peh horng and jin hao....was like so funny lor during the session....cus kenneth like old times, shout instead of sing....haha....

and sorry to her for like draging the time in the promise i made......ps....

now for the joke....A Reflective Picture...

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old codger decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the city’s stores, he picked up a mirror and looked in it. Not knowing what it was, he remarked, “How about that! Here’s a picture of my daddy.”

He bought the “picture,” but on the way home remembered that his wife, Lizzy, didn’t much like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it.

The man’s many trips to the barn began to draw Lizzy’s suspicion. One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, “So that’s the ugly bitch he’s runnin’ around with.”

2008-12-05T00:31:00.001+08:00

will blog tml

2008-11-22T22:33:00.003+08:00

It is only possible to live happily-ever-after on a day-to-day basis.

finally blogging agn....this few days dun have the feeling to blog....lol....today is the mentoring anniversary.... so early in the morning have to go out to meet in school at 8.30....but reach the clubhouse a bit late....haha.....

when meeting we are brief on what we will be doing again....and i finally got my club shirt....oh yay.....like this then feel like real mentor ma...haha....so went over to MLT 1 after to prepare for the festa for me....it is really boring lor....cus set up time doesn't need tat long...so after tat was like really doing nothing....then no choice i went inside to watch the performance and have the air con as well....haha....

the performance was quite boring lor...but ok la...since also not the committee fault for tat la...really shocking lor...intially there are predicted 70 mentees coming and yesterday decrease to 30.... and today...9.... lol....but overall still ok la...my station was the throwing of the ping pong balls in to the holes...like lol...most ppl can't throw in....someone even worse....standing in front of it also cannot go in...haha....laugh like hell...think she noe who's she...haha...the inner usher...haha....so obvious liao....sense killing liao...haha....

now for the joke....Mommy Almost Died .....

Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Piddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Piddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could,

"I'm afraid Piddles is dead, Lucy."

"So why are his legs sticking up in the air like that, Daddy?" asked Lucy as she fought back the tears.

At a loss for something to say the father replied, "Piddles' legs are pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for Jesus to float down from heaven above and grab a leg and lift Piddles up to heaven."

Little Lucy seemed to take her Piddles' death quite well. However, two days later when her father came home from work, Lucy had tears in her eyes and said: "Mommy almost died this morning."

Fearing something terrible had happened the father shook the girl and shouted, "How do you mean Lucy? Tell Daddy!"

"Well", mumbled Lucy, "soon after you left for work this morning I saw mommy lying on the floor with her legs in the air and she was shouting, 'Oh Jesus!!! I'm coming, I'm coming!!!' and if it hadn't been for the milkman holding her down she defintely would have gone, Daddy."

2008-11-15T19:21:00.003+08:00

The only valuable thing is intuition.

yup blog agn....this whole week was like busy after busy....chionging all the project was really a super tired things to do....from mob report to itab to CRS to mob presentation.....this is really suck man....haiz...but lucky still managed to finish everything and pass up on time....

this whole have really always overslept lor....siao liao....cannot like this already otherwise cannot take exam le...due to poor attendance....tat's y have a new proposal wif her.....haha...but scare she will really forget to call lor....like last time...late by 2 HOURS....like lol...haha....

yesterday was really bad lor...kanna bullied by two persons on the msn.....****** and *** lor...and *** was really fierce lor....saying the ending mean sentence...haiz....and one more funny thing... haha...****** trick me on something and in the end kanna trick by me back...haha...tat was so fun lor...and i didn't go round the papaya/banana/coconut/watever....i purely only sit at home to trick u....haha....lol....

now for the joke....Give and Take....

A man is walking on the beach when he trips over a lamp. A few seconds later, a genie pops out and says, "I’m required to grant three wishes, but since you did not treat my lamp with respect, I will give twice what you get to the person you hate most—your boss."

The man agrees and makes his first wish: "I want lots of money." Instantly $20 million appears in bags on the beach, and $40 million appears in his boss’ bank account.

Next the man asks for an incredible sports car. Instantly a Lamborghini appears, and at the same moment, two show up outside his boss’ house.

Finally the genie says, "You have but one wish left; you should choose carefully."

The man says, "Well, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney."

2008-11-14T23:58:00.001+08:00

will blog tml

2008-11-10T18:39:00.003+08:00

The only person who makes no mistakes is the person who never does anything.

yup it's posting time agn...this two feeling ok la....gotten blog wat happen this two days....and thanks arh *** for putting my in ur blog....haha...lol...u use asteried ma so me too for ur name...haha....

saturday 8november

woke up damn late today....actually told myself to start mob report at 3....but in the end too tired le...so didn't do any...lol...at ard 9 went to paya lebar to pass stats textbook to rj....actually sld be paya lebar....but in the end i end up at cck...like lol...haha...when reach home...my mum say "ur paya lebar at malaysia arh" lol...haha....was laughing....

sunday 9november

didn't slp until like 6 plus....ya man thanks to ****** somehow pei me...haha...lol....and pass me some data on my mob report....haha...u the best...but no hangbao...haha....

someone hor broke a good record...ask her 9.30 morning call me...in the end 11.30 then morning calll...wow....lol...haha....aft went to sakura to have buffet wif kenneth, yuqi , josh and his friend...it was like super damn full lor....almost vomit lor....

aft tat at 5 went for the classical concert at the victoria concert hall with my cousin....the SSO perform the brandenburg concerto no 3 and the whole of the four seasons....aft that went to esplanade to emo a while...lol...aft that went to buy donut for her and go to her working place...like lol lor...tat stupid petrol uncle....nvm...dun wanna elaborate....

haha....also thanks to ****** agn...otherwise will surely going to emo man...haha...ur smses save me....haha....but make ur phone somehow dead....haha...feeling guilty lo....

now for the joke....Early Retirement Bonus....a little yellow but ok la...

The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.

The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of $720,000.

The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.

When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man ... "From the tip of my penis to the bottom of my testicles."

The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received. The Marine insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical officer to do the measuring.

The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop the pants. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back.

"My God!" he said. "Where are your testicles?"

The general replied, "In Vietnam."

2008-11-07T18:11:00.002+08:00

Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.

haha....today was actually bad day for me....like lol...no 1 is i didn't give her the second morning and she was actually late for her class for like 15mins....feel really sorry le....but she still scold me in her blog...haiz....

no2 is i missed econs lecture and was somehow kanna scolded by alex lum....like wat the hell lor...haiz....my retribution ba....

and the worst comes wif no3...there is someone which i can't say in my class that like another girl from another class...and i like help him to ask the girl some qns...and in the end tat person like....i dunno la....partially my fault ba....haiz... dunno whether she will still talk to me a not...think if she come read my post she will noe it's her....but she wun....

today in fc6....kanna torture by RJ(haha....to compensate last time didn't mention enough of times....so mention ur name...haha)....but nvm la...she happy then ok lor....lol....this sunday going to sakura and attending a classical concert at the victoria concert hall....will post agn on sunday...

now for the joke....Wrong E-mail Address....

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife

Subject: I've arrived

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!

2008-11-05T17:21:00.004+08:00

I must govern the clock, not be governed by it

it have been a really long time since i post...haha...cus really lazy to blog...haha....so wat happen this few days....haha...let's start from friday ba....

31 oct friday

was as usual late again for the make up MOB class...today was suppose to drop the egg...like lol...so angry lor wif the teacher....our egg was like crack only...but he say...FAIL...like wat the toot....lol...

aft sch follow sam they all to the sport hall as they wanted to play badminton...haha...when reached there, i went out to sit at the bench outside the sport hall before N came to pei me and we talk in fc5 and went over to the moberly and watch the pool matches...like lol lor...her mum was so funny lor...ask me go her hse play mahjong together...lol...

went to camp aft tat...wat i can say is my group is good man...haha...played some ice-breaking game and aft tat went over to the convention center for two other activity before having the game called night rescue whereby we have to go station aft station to save our GL...jus like amazing race...

haiz...while going to bath area, injure my toe...like lol lor...cannot even slp cus too pain liao...but luckily got RJ pei me the whole night...but hai her got no slp feeling so guilty lor...

1 nov sat

have another amazing race but this time outside SP...wa....really tired lor...running around singapore....like lol...haha...and tat's the end of the camp...and for tat race our group came in first...and in overall score we got third..not bad...haha...

2 nov sun

wake up at like 10plus to give RJ morning call and to do ideas together...lol...but in the end start at 3-4...lol...cus she really can sleep man....haha...lol....think she's going to kill me liao if she read it...in the end pei her all the way until 4 am till she finish her ideas...didn't sleep tat night cus need to call her agn 2 hrs ltr ma...touched ma...haha...

nothing to really say for 3 nov and 4 nov...hhaha...oh ya...alert to all out there man...talking to ivy u really need to wear an armour and to vivien make sure there is a hospital nearby cus u will surely experience a loss of blood...lol...

now for the joke...Jewish Business...

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was trudging through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried towards it, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.

The Taliban asked, “Do you have water?”

The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.”

The Taliban shouted, “Infidel! I do not need an over-priced tie! I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!”

“OK, OK” said the old Jewish man, “It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.”

Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead… “Your f***ing brother won’t let me in without a tie!”

2008-11-04T21:30:00.000+08:00

will post tml........

2008-10-30T17:58:00.004+08:00

In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.

haha....actually feeling better le today...yup...thanks to someone who have talk sense to me...hehe...really thanks her so much...everytime when i was down because of my R problem and is emoing...she is always the one who will make my tat particular day a bit happy again...especially yesterday ba...i was really down to the bottom and she again make me a bit happy...haha...really thanks to *******... u r the best...haha....

tml will be attending mentoring camp...dunno y??? not as excited...haha...maybe tml will be better ba...today is really tired day for me...even in the MLT i fall asleep...like lol....and...jamie...try to SMILE...haha....

now for the joke....Diagnosis...
One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."

His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only costs you $10.00."

Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.

The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:

1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.

He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:

1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using cocaine.
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop masturbating, your elbow will never get better

this is only a joke...dun think the wrong way...

2008-10-29T17:47:00.002+08:00

If you want to stand out, don't be different, be outstanding.

i feeling weak...real weak....the willpower that is left in me is already at it's minimum....for years...i have been fighting a tough battle wif ***....obstacles aft obstacles...i passed watever he gives me...but now this obstacles that he gives me have defeat me totally....i doubt i can ever recover from it agn...*** mus be very happy now to c tat he finally won....CONGRAD TO U...

as a saint always said...once u stepped into a wrong step, it may even cause ur life sometimes...try to understand that phrase to prevent u stepping into one...what i mean by my true self is back...it's simple...my old self in the past have finally occupied my mind agn....i have been trying very hard not to let this happen...but couldn't stop it anymore....

no mood for jokes today....try it next time....

2008-10-25T19:10:00.005+08:00

We are accountable only to ourselves for what happens to us in our lives.

it is again such a long time le tat i have post....haha...cus this few days was kinda of living in heat...y living in heat??? ok...it's simple...cus a guy think tat he is so handsome or attractive or wat i dunno...have some stupid thinking tat someone like him....and make thing worse...tat someone is a person to me very important...will not emphasis on tat someone...cus doesn't wan to make things so clear yet...

but nevertheless mus thank one person who so called secretly to me all those...hehe...will treat her drinks de...no problem....going to have ideas CA on next tuesday....haiz...siao liao....dunno how....try to do ba...as things go back to old say...i dun wan all of us to tear our face...it will be best tat solving through peaceful way...as i dun like to hate anyone...

now for the joke....Scared Dad...

Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat.

The first kid says, "My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bed."

The second kid replies,"Yeah? Well, that's nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the nightshift, he sleeps with the lady next door."

2008-10-21T22:37:00.004+08:00

haha....a long time even since i last post le...cus this few days have been thinking hard over some issues...so not in the mood to post...i think very hard le...i knew she may not be loving me agn le...but wat i can say is i will still love u wif all my heart de... haiz... ever listen to a song called 想你的夜 by 信乐团... the song is mainly abt a person unable to put his heart to forget his ex...i really believe tat this song is how i'm feeling now ba...got time de hua try listening ba and listen to the lyrics...

to me...loving a person doesn't mean to zhan you tat person...as long as u c her found her happiness, u will also be happy de...one of my birthday wish is tat hope she will always rmb tat there is a guy who is always loving her and giving her all the support and care and concern can le...

to all people out there...if u all have anything tat u wanna do...from kao bai to a person to rebuilding good terms wif friends...jus do it...otherwise sometimes when u wanted to do it de time, it may be already too late...and rmb...in watever we doing, we will only have one chance...there will be no turn back...for those who have almost going on the wrong track...faster turn back...otherwise will be like me...i was given a chance and i ruin it...now i can't turn back le...really regret...hope she really will give me a second chance...

hope all of u will not mute ur speaker and listen to the song...on my blog...haha...actually cried when i sing along...haha...so malu...hehe...

end off wif a haiz.....

2008-10-16T22:34:00.003+08:00

Then is then. Now is now. We must grow to learn the difference.

yoyo...so long didn't post le...today gotten post...haha....oh yea....jay album is out l...so chio lor...i bought the deluxe version of the album....here is the pic man...

haha...i think the album really nice lor...haha...actually going to work at ivic le...but the timing was like so weird...think when holiday le then go there work ba...but raoul...haiz...two places i also like lor...nvm...still long...slowly ba...this few days have been thinking should i rearm...and fight agn...huge decision...c ba...

now for the joke...Sign Language....

Dear Father,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ?an`t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on.

After receiving His son`s letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back.

Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad

2008-10-13T21:06:00.002+08:00

It's the moment you think you can't that you realize you can.

haha...this few days have a lot of thought coming in my mind...if one person ask me this months ago...where can u get ur chance???... i will ans chances is given by other ppl de...but if u ask me the same qns now...i will ans chances is to be taken by ur own...In this world human heart is the most complicated item...it is easy to noe a person likes but it is difficult to noe the person true personality...wanna know how all this works then maybe u have to go through wat i've been going through now....

now for the joke...Viagra...
The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behaviour, asks, "Where are you going?"

He replies, "I'm going to the doctor."

She says, "Why, are you sick?"

He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff."

Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat.

He says, "Where the hell are you going"?

She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too."

He says, "Why, what do you need?"

She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a tetanus shot."

2008-10-11T23:18:00.002+08:00

Where will I be five years from now? I delight in not knowing.

haiz....school is starting... feeling still ok la...but is only need to start to open books again...jus boring man...receive news tat jay album release will be postpone to next wed...was like...lol...the reason the music company give is tat because the pre-order amount at 1 oct have already beat the pre-order amount of the last album...so as to thanks the buyer, they decided to add a new gift in it..which is a joker poker card...like lol...

haiz...something i jus dun understand in the past...haha now i know le...u c...this world is so beautiful but y is human heart so ugly...haha...wat a deep qns...now i know the ans to it but haha...the consequence tat i got was really high...haiz........

now for the joke...Smart Thinking...
A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce.

The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standingright behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"

"Canada, sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there."

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada."

"No sh*t?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"

2008-10-08T21:29:00.002+08:00

The great difference between voyages rests not in ships but in the people you meet on them.

haha... today actually going for mentoring....haha...but in the end...gary not free...kai liang going to his company annual dinner...kenneth going somewhere....sam trap in malaysia....josh not going...so i also not going le...like lol...haiz....oh my this decision cause someone almost scold me lor...haha...but in the end found out tat only 6 mentors went but only 7 mentees ard...like lol...haha...

tml singing K agn...oh yay man...tat is going to be shiok man...haha...yesterday my house got fireworks in the air lor...haha...dunno wat it mean rite...haha..think only she will noe...haha....

now for the jokes....Southern Piece...
After having been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge, a real southern gentleman beckoned the waitress back and said quietly, "Miss, y'all sure are a luvly, luvly lady; can ah persuade y'all to give me a piece of ass?"

"Lord, that's the most direct proposition I've ever had!" gasped the girl. Then she looked around the room, smiled and added, "Sure, why not? You're nice lookin' too and it's pretty slow here right now, so why don't we just slip away up to my room?"

When the pair returned half an hour later, the man sat down at the same table and the waitress asked, "Will there be anything else, sir?"

"Why yes," replied the southern gentleman. "Ah sure 'preciate what y'all just did for me; it was real sweet and right neighbourly, but where ah come from in Albama, we lack our bourbon real cold, so ah still need to trouble y'all for a piece uh ass for mah drink."

2008-10-05T18:34:00.003+08:00

If you reflect within yourself and find nothing to be ashamed of, how could you have anxiety or fear?

haha...didn't blog for many days le...didn't blog on friday and sat cus i'm in malaysia...no internet connection for me...went to malaysia on friday to attend my cousin wedding in malaysia...haha...will have the list of event post shortly...haha...

went into malaysia on friday night wif my two other cousins...and stay over at my cousin's hse...jus shortly aft we are about to slp, we heard a bad news...which is we have to wake up super early at ard 5 to fetch the bride...we are like STUN...but nvm...

woke up at 5 and we are out of the house in the contingent to fetch to bride...reach the bride hse ard 20mins later ba...haha...in order to be able fetch the bride, the groom and his brother group have to pass three obstacle being set by the sister group of the bride...

obs 1...will test the bending of them...haha...

like lol...haha..obs 2....sing song...haha...

hehe...the bride was listening from the second floor...

this was the song lyrics of the song they sang...

lastly the groom have to say a few sentence of touching words to the bride before the bride finally agree to let him fetch her away to the church....

the exchange of ring....

haha...not much to post le...aft tat i was as the receptionist of the wedding dinner...haha...the rest will be other random photo...

me wif one of my cousin...

photo of my two of my cousins...

photo of the groom and the bride...

my cousin...calling guys out there...whoever wanted to noe her tell me ba...haha...

hehe...tat's me...

now the jokes...Poetry Contest...

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was “Timbuktu.”

First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand

Trekked a lonely caravan;

Men on camels,two by two

Destination Timbuktu.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

Me and Tim a huntin’ went.

Met three whores in a pop up tent.

They was three, and we was two,

So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

2008-10-01T22:46:00.002+08:00

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try

this two again super sian again...really nth to do...other than talking to ppl lor...haha...thanks man to her...haha...pei me all the way till 6am...haha....so touched lor...haha...nth more really to say...will have a longer one tml...

now for the joke...The Gambler...

A woman walks into a bank one day to deposit a large sum of money. She walks up to the guy at the counter and hands him a cheque of a million dollars. After noticing the cheque was for such a large amount, he tells her he has to go and get the bank manager. Soon, the bank manager appears and starts to process her cheque.

"How did you get so much money?"

"Well", she replies, "I'm abit of gambler..."

"Really?" the manager replies astoundingly.

"Sure, like right now - I can bet you $10,000 that your nuts are square!", the managers alittle taken back from what shes said.

"Ten grand that my nuts are square?"

"Yup"

"Done!"

"Great, meet me in the car park in two minutes so I can see for myself".

Sure enough, two minutes later the manager walks out and sees her standing by her car with a guy in a suit.

"Ok, well this is my lawyer. Hes just here to make sure this is all legal and fair."

"Sure"

She then steps up in front of him, unzips his pants and gives his balls a good feel.

"You're right, they're not square!" The manager smiles and looks over to the lawyer who starts banging his head on the car.

Confused, the manager asks the woman, "Whats with your lawyer?"

"Oh, I bet him $50,000 I would have your nuts in my hand in 5 minutes."

this is purely a joke dun think sideway...haha....

2008-09-27T21:10:00.002+08:00

to live in the present, plan for the future, and profit from the past.

yea man...blogging time again....haha...this few days is really boring man...ya...except for one person tat have been entertaining me this two days...haha...and u good lor...yesterday still tempt me wif ur mac on webcam somemore....haiz...haha...in the end never eat mac yesterday....but the worst part is...haha...she somehow force me to watch Korea drama...oh my....haha....will try to watch when really nothing to do...

haha....okok....today watched quite a lot of documentary....it is called the seconds from disaster...it is about some cases or disaster that have never been solved and in this documentary, they will renact the event and then find out the cause of the disaster...some cases are like the sinking of the titanic and Space shuttle "the colombia" explosion...haha...lol...from there saw a lot of stupid human act lor...

ok now for the joke...as i have been receiving good feedback on the joke...haha...thanks for supporting it...and heres the joke for today...Happy 100th Birhtday Grandma...

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

A nephew who arrived late came running up to Grandma and said, "Hi Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?"

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew, "They won't let me fart."

2008-09-25T22:27:00.002+08:00

Wisdom consists of knowing when to avoid perfection

yesterday went for the weekly mentoring session again...but this time the feeling was different...cus tat will be my last time seeing my mentee...as he's going to take his PSLE le....so aft tat u will not be in the mentoring programme anymore...wish him best of luck ba for his exam...

today didn't really been doing anything...slacking again...sian until have to play some old games like red alert 2...like lol lor...haiz...nvm....

this small little section...ya...is for a specific person....like lol agn...she ask me to list down her three good point...and i say "u look pretty....u very kind-hearted....u are the best sunshine ever"....siao liao i say three lie at one go le...haha...lol...so how is it miss natasha??? got mention u le hor...dun say i nvr mention...although more than 50 words le but ok la...

ok...now for the joke...Girls Night Out...

Two women friends had gone for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails.

Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee.

They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a head stone or something.

The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she thought she'd take off her panties, use them, then throw them away.

Her friend, however, was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers but was lucky to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves and proceeded to wipe herself with that.

After finishing, they then made off for home.

The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and said, "These damn girls night out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties."

"That's nothing, said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck between the cheeks of her ass that said, "From All of Us At the Fire Station, We'll Never Forget You."

2008-09-23T22:46:00.002+08:00

Think where man's glory most begins and ends.And say my glory was I had such friends.

being sick really super bad lor...now feeling better le aft taking all those medicine....think this few days going to visit a backbone specialist lo...guess something wrong wif my backbone...dunno the problem serious a not...haha...skali cannot walk next time le...choy.....touch wood....

This few days really sian lor at home...my ex-boss called me and ask me to work le...going to work on the 2oct....but she say the salary to be confirm...haha...but i told her...if below 6 i will not work...haha...so mean....tml will be going for mentoring again but have the feeling dun wanna go...really sian already....

now for the joke...Get Along....

Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians.

The attorney kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the physician in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a coke."

"No problem," said the attorney, "I'll get it for you."

While he was gone, one of the physicians picked up the attorney's shoe and spat in it.

When he returned with the coke, the other physician said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the attorney obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other physician picked up the other shoe and spat in it. The attorney returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the attorney slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?!"

2008-09-22T06:24:00.002+08:00

Our lives are short, so if we can meet someone who touches our heart and soul at all, an age difference can melt away in the face of love

didn't blog for quite a few days liao...haha...cus too lazy to really blog...will post everything tat happen this few days...

19sep...friday...
have been sleeping the whole morning and afternoon cus the night before didn't sleep..but kanna called up by shaun to pei him buy some items...so ya...went to marine parade to meet him and wei ming...we intend to book a cake and so we went to prima delli...but in the end they say they will not be open on sunday...when i ask her whether she can called other outlet and place a booking...and she says SORRY WE ARE FRANCHISE DE SO CANNOT....like LOL...nvm...

aft tat meet up wif eileen and we go to wei ming hse for mahjong session...aft tat shu min, elisa and qing en also join us...haha...lol...in the end the birthday boy win the most followed by me...jus now at 12 midnight, we created a surprise for shaun...haha....

20sep...saturday...
didn't really do anything on this day so nothing to blog....

21sep....sunday...
manage to finish another of my drama... now on the next one...call the 法證先鋒...really another damn nice HK drama...went out at ard 1 to shaun's hse to help him carry stuffs to the bbq pit...this is like the earliest bbq i ever attended le...start at 2...like lol...haha...

when reached there...was like really rotting there...nothing to do ma...jus sit there and listen to songs and emo abit look at the sea...haha...but serious the cater food was really nice but the problem is really a bit ex lor...haha...

towards the night time actually have to go to my cousin's 21 birthday at yishun de...but suddenly my head shake until like earthquake and having sore throat...so no choice have to go home...feel kinda of guilty lor...haiz....

now for the joke time...Rabbi In A Confession...
A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do.

The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." The priest asks "What did you do?". The woman says "I committed adultery." Priest: "How many times?" Woman: "Three times." Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."

A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." Priest: "What did you do?" Man: "I committed adultery." Priest:"How many times?" Man: "Three times." Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."

The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it so the priest leaves.

A few minutes later another woman enters and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." Rabbi: "What did you do?" Woman: "I committed adultery." Rabbi: "How many times?" Woman: "Once." Rabbi: "Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for $5."

2008-09-18T23:51:00.003+08:00

Life is to be lived

too lazy to blog yesterday le...so now gotten blog two days happening at one go...

on wed 17sep...
it is another day whereby i didn't sleep the whole day le...not because i cannot sleep...it's cus i'm watching the drama...haha...agn...really siao liao lor...really addicted le...watch the drama all the way to 12 plus when i prepare to get my ass off the chair and out of the house...

went out to buy something...but one of the thing tat i bought feel like kanna scam like tat...let me ask u...a shaver wif the blade will cost 14.95 for example...but guess wat...if u only buy the blade...tat will cost u 16.95...like damn no link...nvm...

went for mentoring session again...can say really happy ba...haha...get to c my mentee wei jie...haha...lol....aft tat went to have dinner at KFC wif sam, josh and kai liang...

thursday 18sep...
woke up early in the morning to meet sam at SP for badminton again...but this time we tag and versus two more strangers who are playing on the other court...althought we lose but the score damn close lor...so we are not weak either...haha...this is the score...15-21, 21-17, 18-21...

dunno y...now my feeling is jus like the lyrics from a song by david tao called liu sha...wanna noe how i feel then go and c the lyrics ba...i actually thought tat i have already put down my heart le...erm...dunno y...when i heard from u abt tat agent, i will feel tense up again...haiz...

并不是真的路过而已
也不是真的不会想你
全部不是真的是骗自己
其实还爱你爱着你

我以为我早想清楚
不由自主恍恍惚惚又走回头路
再看一眼有过的幸福

爱情好象流沙
我不挣扎随它去吧我不害怕
爱情好象流沙
心里的牵挂不原放下
oh baby 让我这样吧

爱情好象流沙
我不说话等待黑暗让眼泪落下
爱情好象流沙
明知该躲它无法自拔
oh baby 是我太傻

是一再的做一再的错不由我
我一步一步一步一步慢慢走向流沙

不能做普通朋友

haha...try to c how i feeling now ba from the lyrics...now for the joke...saying a joke

one day a guy approached a group of teens...as he noticed that they look bored, therefore he decided to tell them a joke...

GUY:hey guys, how are you???

teens:yea...jus feeling bored...

GUY:alright in tat case i will say a joke so u all won't look so bored...

teens:oh...if u think u can then give it a try...

GUY:u all ready for me to say a joke???

teens:yup...

GUY:a joke...

2008-09-16T22:19:00.002+08:00

Every calling is great when greatly pursued

today didn't do ath again...but managed to done wif 陀枪师姐3...now currently watching 陀枪师姐4...haha...really siao lor...haha...tml will be having two big events...no1 is tml will be another mentoring session again...but think the decision to going a not will be affected by the second big event...event no 2 is the release of my sem result...siao liao...dunno score how much...really scare kanna into the forward module programme...tat will be damn sian lor...

haiz...no matter wat...c tml my post ba...then u will noe how much i scored ba...

now for the joke...The Mime And The Lion
One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.

However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office.

The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly. The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

The next morning, before the crowd arrives, the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.

However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.

Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.

At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla.

Well, this goes on for some time. The mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion, he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind.

Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"

2008-09-14T21:22:00.002+08:00

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else - you are the one who gets burned

haha...this two days really is 100percent rotting...last time during secondary school when holiday come, like so damn happy but now having poly holiday like so damn sian lor...haha....this two days have been watching videos...haha...siao liao...kanna influence by someone lor...she also everytime watch vids de...now i also liao...going to collect some compensation from her...haha...lol..jus jk la...first watch 洗冤錄II then now watching 陀枪师姐3...haha...damn nice...

now back for the joke...Janet...

First Lady Hillary Clinton and Attorney General Janet Reno were having one of those girl to girl talks, and Hillary says to Janet, "You're lucky that you don't have to put up with men having sex with you. I have to put up with Bill, and there is no telling where he last had his pecker."

Janet responded, "Just because I am esthetically challenged (that's "politically correct" for ugly) doesn't mean I don't have to fight off unwelcome sexual advances."

Hillary asks, "Well, how do you deal with the problem?"
Janet, "Whenever I feel that a guy is getting ready to make a pass at me, I muster all my might and squeeze out the loudest, nastiest fart that I can."

That night, Bill was already in bed with the lights out when Hillary slips into bed. She could hear him start to stir, and knew that he would be wanting some action. She had been saving her farts all day, and was ready for him.

She tenses up her butt cheeks and forces out the most disgusting sounding fart you could imagine.

Bill rolls over and says, "Janet, is that you?

2008-09-12T20:03:00.004+08:00

A misty morning does not signify a cloudy day

learn a new thing today...after receiving all the sms, i begin to lock myself in the room and close all the window and starting to reflect on myself...i begin to realise tat the mistake tat i have made is really far more serious than i have expected...i starting to think...and reflect on all my mistakes...as i thought that i am showing all the care and concern, i actually missed out a lot more important types of care and concern...haiz...this is wat i mean by human normally doesn't noe their mistakes unless someone told him abt it...

i am going to have to change le...i realise that i have been taking things for granted...i looked at the smses...for every mistake i made, i slap myself hard one time...slap like five six times...and in the end i slap myself fifteen more times...cus i noe i surely still have more mistakes de...i think too much abt myself...and missed out le abt others...jus for tat mistake i slap myself five more hard times...i'm not going to make tat mistake again...i noe the things that i have done is really too big le...i know she may not even forgive me again...i think wat i need now is a chance to make up ba...

haiz....i really think i am a shi bai zhe...i really think tat i have to stop all these and change myself...as i noe i have to learn from my mistake and change for the better...i dun wan to be tat myself anymore...i really going to change...think u will really not going to forgive wat i have done...to end up...jus wanna say sorry to u...

in future if a person is going to ask me...in the whole of ur life, wat is the most regretable things u have?...i will ans it is the things that i didn't give her that she want...

not going to post jokes today...not in the correct mood...

Spend each moment perfecting the next, not correcting the last.

2008-09-11T21:09:00.005+08:00

Spend each moment perfecting the next, not correcting the last.

today woke up early in the morning and kanna scolded by someone...haha...haiyo...so fierce lor...went to SP to meet sam...we playing badminton together...haha...this time i actually lost to sam...haha...15-13, 8-15, 10-15, 7-15, 13-15...like....lol...haha...

after that went to sing K wif sam and kenneth...haha...lol...kenneth always love to rise his key way high...haha...think he's going to lost his voice tml...actually wanna snap some pics de...haha...but last mins all forgotten abt it...

now having a new policy...the motivational quote will be post as the post title everyday...
haha...now for the jokes...Presidental Call
The President was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon.
"Mr. President," said the four-star general, barely to contain himself, "There's good news & bad news."
"Oh, no," muttered the President, "Well, let me have the bad news first."
"The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet."
"Gosh, and the good news?" "The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters & piss oil."

2008-09-10T19:17:00.003+08:00

today didn't really do anything ba...early in the morning watch two movies in a row...first watched the S.W.A.T...an old movie but damn nice movie...haha...after that watched steven chow show called 九品芝麻官...a damn funny comedy movie...both movies are equally good...haha...

meet wif kenneth at 1.30pm and went to city hall to buy some items...but really hell...still can't find any shop that sells a Head&Shoulder conditional...damn sian lor...dunno going where to buy...after that went to mentoring...so long never go for that le...but today really very tired...no matter do wat things also no strength...even when playing soccer also no strength to run...

haha...today indirectly gave a present to a mentee...haha...really funny lor...haha...wanna noe y indirectly??? haha...dun tell u...but when she read it..haha...she will noe wat it means de...

tml going to out wif sam and kenneth...haha...wanna noe where....tml read my post lor...

hope u noe ba...i will always love u and wait for u de....

now for the jokes....Customs
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course child. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.

The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!"

motivational quote for today is...Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can

2008-09-09T21:03:00.003+08:00

today didn't do anything...jus tat my agent called me and ask whether i would wan a job under the company French aerospace...in changi...working in the accounts receivable department...i say i'm ok le...now only c whether the company wan a not...wait for call ba...nothing to blog le...

jokes ba...Bush In Hell
One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.

I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.

In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No, George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bush took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go."

motivational quote for today is...The things taught in school are not an education but a means to an education.

2008-09-08T19:39:00.002+08:00

today went to a agency to look for a job wif wei ming and elisa...cus this few days really rotting at home...so think working better ba...somemore got money to take...actually dun really trust in agency but haiz...no choice lor...but maybe have to skip the mentoring sessions cus the job tat i wanna to work as normally mon to fri and sometimes sat....c how ba...my agent have send my resume to a company in toa payoh...c ba...c whether will kanna selected a not...hope to get a call soon...

nth to really blog le...now the joke and the motivational quote(MQ)...

Escaped Prisoner
A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.", to which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey, I love you, too."

motivational quote today is....There is no greater loan than a sympathetic ear

2008-09-07T20:16:00.004+08:00

didn't blog for two days le...haha...now blog ba...on sat...went to eileen birthday's bbq...haha...reach there with the rest of my cliques at ard 5...haha..this is the first time i reached the bbq pit earlier than the person who open the bbq...haha...lol...we wait till 5plus then when she arrived...haha...but cannot blame her la...cus she says her parent is delaying the time...haha...below are some pics

the number of jellys here...ohmy...

this person is trying to eat the charcoal...haha...

see this super clear drink...can we drink it???see the next pic and u noe who prepare it and u comment c whether can drink a not....

POISON ALERT.....

a good snap by shu min...haha...

me wif the birthday girl...

pic of my whole clique excluding two more absent members...

haha...worst thing is the stupid storm tat fall while we are bbqing half way...in the end continue our bbq in the pavilion...haha...but quite fun in there...ard 12 plus most of the ppl go le...left the ppl in the pic above and two of eileen RP friends...and we play some stupid but super fun games...haha...only able to reach home at 5.30am...

to enable ppl who always think negatively, not only will post jokes everyday, i will also post a motivational quote to motivate these ppl...haha...now for the joke and the quote...

The Worst Age

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old.

"You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"

"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old.

"When you're seventy, you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "80 is the worst age of all!"

"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.

"No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"Do you have trouble crapping?" asked the 70-year-old.

"No, I crap every morning at 6:30."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30.

So what's so tough about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00!"

The motivational quote for today is...Take pride in how far you have come, have faith in how far you can go...

2008-09-05T23:30:00.003+08:00

The verdict is out...as of 5th september 2008 at 11.30pm...i offically withdraw all the army from it...i promise the people that i will not wage a single war again for these poly life or i will kill myself...dun think tat i'm going crazy...read it in relationship terms...and u will understand...
tml will be going to eileen birthday bbq...haha...oh ya...change my blog song to the pathetique sonata by the late beethoven...nth more to blog le...

now for the joke....wrong understanding of english

A small zoo in Alabama acquires a rare gorilla, who quickly becomes agitated. The zookeeper determines that the female ape is in heat, but there are no male apes available for mating. The zookeeper approaches a redneck janitor with a proposition. “Would you be willing to have sex with this gorilla for $500?” he asks.
The janitor accepts the offer, but only on three conditions: “First, I don’t want to have to kiss her. And second, you can never tell anyone about this.”
The zookeeper agrees to the conditions and asks about the third.
“Well,” says the janitor, “I’m gonna need another week to come up with the $500.”